Week 21.06 Digital Body Language

I have been exercising more during the pandemic than I did before. I am clocking more steps than ever. I need to think about moving because my entire work life now happens with a screen, a camera and a microphone. In our new digital workplace, we need to understand the rules of Digital Body Language. 

Lucky for me (and now us) the amazing Erica Dhawan was already thinking about this long before the pandemic began. In her not soon enough to be released book, Digital Body Language, she unwraps this new world, how we can navigate it and what it means to us all. Today I am writing from the conversation I had with Erica on my new podcast, Excited By Success.

Erica saw the coming challenge of the digitally disconnected because she could relate to these new digital immigrants because she grew up in the immigrant experience in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. As a child, she struggled to learn the cues of body language in American culture and how to speak up because her traditional Indian family’s cultural background, made it hard to learn the norms of traditional body language. Five years ago, the digital environment was becoming the new normal. She recognized that we're now all immigrants to the world of digital body language, learning the cues and signals of how to build trust and connection. Her work helps us all understand the signals we send even if we don't intend to, and seeks to help us create those cultures of clarity.

Because you read this far, here is a gift… Invite a client as a recommender to a new prospect meeting!

With virtual calls with customers the norm, one of the things we can do now is during a conversation with a potential customer, is to have an existing customer zoom in for five minutes to share their experiences. That type of interaction would have never happened in the traditional one on one meeting. It only takes five minutes for a trusted loyal customer to come in and share their experience. I am sure you can imagine the level of trust it can create. Pro-tip: Have an existing customer drop in on a sales call to recommend you. You’re welcome! (Chocolate lovers tip: Vosges chocolates are amazing! Oh, and Valentine's Day is coming!)

You really should listen to the interview but because I like you, I am going to share three tips to up-level your digital body language game that Erica shared with me. It is easy to dash off a quick reply (tweet, message, email, slack) assuming that the recipient understands the context of your message. Given the speed they may be reading your message, the chance of poor communication is high. Pro-tip #1 Brevity creates confusion. Writing messages carefully is the new empathy. Take the time to write the extra words to communicate fully.

To invert Pascale “I have made this message shorter than usual because I have not had time to make it longer.” These rushed emails also lead to more groupthink as people quickly pile onto with quick responses (yes is faster the write than no) making dissenting opinions more difficult. Pro-tip #2: prepare for inclusion so those critical slow or dissenting voices are not boxed out. Radical recognition is critical to inclusion. And if all else fails, remember, the digital environment offers you fewer cues, moves faster, and is more prone to misunderstanding. Pro-tip #3: Assume the best intentions. Reading messages carefully is the new listening. Before you come to the conclusion that someone is wrong (ok, that they are an idiot) double-check with them about what they intended to say, and why. Then if you need to conclude the worst, at least you tried. 

There is so much more so I encourage you to listen to the interview here. And Erica is offering a free toolkit at www.ericadhawan.com/dbl and lots of other insights and treasures on her website. The book is out in May. I cannot wait! 

The Right Way to Hold People Accountable by Peter Bregman

Accountability is not simply taking the blame when something goes wrong. It’s not a confession. Accountability is about delivering on a commitment. It’s a responsibility to an outcome, not just a set of tasks. It’s taking initiative with thoughtful, strategic follow-through. And it’s necessary at all levels of the hierarchy. Executives high on the org chart can’t really be accountable unless the people who report to them also follow through on their commitments. This a struggle, of course. I have seen leaders direct, question, and plead. I have seen them yell, act passive-aggressively, and throw up their hands in frustration — all in the service of “holding people accountable.”

None of that works. Getting angry with people when they fall short is not a productive process for holding people accountable. It almost always reduces motivation and performance. So what can we do to foster accountability in the people around us? We need to aim for clarity in five areas: expectations, capability, measurement, feedback, and consequences. Read more in his HBR article here

The Pandemic Reminds Us How Women Show Up to Lead by John Baldoni

The pandemic has cast a sharp light on the role of women in leadership. National leaders such as Angela Merkel of Germany and Jacinda Ardern of New Zealand were active in fighting the coronavirus before many other countries. Gov. Gretchen Whitmer of Michigan led her state to take early and persistent action to slow the spread of COVID-19. Check out John's article in SmartBrief with insights from Sally Helgesen, Tammy Jersey, Alaina Love, and others.

Promotions Aren’t Just About Your Skills – They’re About Your Relationships by Amii Barnard-Bahn 

Too often, people early in their career hit a wall when vying for opportunities to rise in their companies. Chances are they’ve focused too much on their skills and not on their relationships at work. In this article in HBR by Amii, learn five tips for strengthening relationships that can help those struggling demonstrate to management that they’re ready for a promotion. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY David L Gallimore, Sharon Melnick, PhD and Jennifer Goldman-Wetzler on Feb 10 and Erica Dhawan, Ron Carucci, Laura Gassner Otting and Rhett Power on Feb 15th. 

And, as always, thank you, Marshall, for making all of this possible

With love and gratitude

Scott