What-About-Isms: Deny, Deflect, and Defend

Leslie Flowers CS LSC I can never understand why a parent would treat their child in such horrible ways and their pets. I am saddened whenever I learn of an experience such as yours. It is not easy as an adult to have been through such pain and suffering as a child. So sorry you had to endure this hardship, however, glad to know you have done "the work" to get yourself in a place you could function in society and hold the space for your siblings. Strength comes from the courage to step beyond what has held us back and through the grace of a larger force, you have come through to the other side. And helping the greater world become a better place. Much love and hugs. 🤗 ❤

That sounds like a mess, Leslie. I am happy that you have headspace for allowing your brother to feel heard. Some years back I was talking to a psychologist who talked about gifted children as a "special needs" category because, typically, they didn't belong. Their contemporaries were not interesting to them because they were too "slow", and their "intellectual peers" were typically older and, to them, the child was that, a child. Lacking in real life experience. Consequently, the social/cultural rounding - that most people get as part of childhood attempts to fit in - rarely happened with gifted children. And, as their parents typically focused on their strength, academics, perhaps they weren't as observant around the social awkwardness if the child was otherwise functioning. Then arrogance become a protective shield against loneliness. Not helpful in the situation as it perpetuates the problem, but understandable. The "I am the one who leaves this relationship" control of never getting attached.

What to say Leslie Flowers CS LSC yeah .. I know… how does it feels like… And…. One major point , Indeed, I have been observing the same scenario Kids mimicking adult lives. They just can’t listen to you. They just can’t understand what you are talking about. Their senses shut completely. And…. This all is so draining that it takes real practice to stay unaffected and keep marching towards your purpose 🤲🙏✨ More power to you 🙏🌸🙏

I had different experiences in my family, but also immature parents. They were focused on their primary families, not the one they started and into which my sister and I were born. I was always focused on internal events, and any serious achievement in school was taken for granted. It was never good enough. Corporal punishment was given.   At the age of 17, I went to a neuropsychiatrist,it was my choice, the diagnosis was anxiety. I went to the sessions with discipline until the doctor called my mom to talk in private. My mom told me afterwards that she had never been so ashamed, so I stopped going. I didn't manage to finish college, my marriage failed. Since the divorce, I have been persistently treating scars with energetic techniques.   Even today, every authority sees my sister as our mother, she died in the meantime and denies it. The father is completely dependent on the two of us, mentally healthy but emotionally far beyond his years. Neither my sister nor I are emotionally fulfilled as a partner and we have not given birth to children. So much for seemingly well-adjusted families.

Reading your post and how your father treated his kids I feel appalled Leslie Flowers CS LSC I wonder what is the value of attending the best schools and achieving the highest academic levels if this lead to treating kids so harshly and ruin their lives. I wonder if your brother and sister did not have you as a sister where would they have ended? Harsh experiences may take us to full self-awareness as in your case my friend or devastate us. Obssion of control leads to irresponsible acts and for what? Satisfying a desire for control and is this worthy destroying a famiy? I had no experience similar to yours and yet that you shared yours is a message to the world on the importance of taming our desires. They these desires "burn" they burn everyhing.