What to avoid when holiday gifting (to colleagues and customers)

Halloween is just around the corner. Orange and black is replaced with the likes of red and green decor on store shelves as deals of all magnitude flood our inboxes and Instagram feeds. The retail world is not so subtly reminding us the holidays are close. Business leaders (or their Marketing teams) are beginning to think employee holiday gifting, while Sales and Community professionals contemplate what to send their most coveted customers. Most of them will get it wrong. 

Human nature continuously guides us to do what feels most natural — what we, personally, would want in any given situation. This, friends, bleeds (in a big way) into how we share recognition and gratefulness, especially during the holidays. As companies work to put together gift boxes to thank employees for their hard work, Gary Chapman and Paul White kindly remind us in their book “The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace” that gifting is the least preferred language of appreciation. In fact, only about 5% of people prefer to receive a gift as a sign of thanks or gratitude over the other languages: Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time and Personal Touch. Yet gifting is our main focus this time of year. 

As a manager, I always try to provide the best possible working environment for my team. Sometimes I succeed, and other times I come up short. Last year, I gave each team member a holiday gift (because I LOVE gifting), but that was sharing my language of appreciation — not each of theirs. So for some, it hit home more than for others. The small effort it takes to determine appreciation languages can make a huge impact this time of the year, so it’s worth a little discovery.

If you can, have your team (or those you work closest with) take the quiz the discover their top languages of appreciation. Then discuss. I uncovered that while the thoughtfulness behind the gifting I personally cherish is kindly received, my team values quality time above the rest. Routinely rated one of the most commonly preferred languages of appreciation, Microsoft also discovered quality time is the biggest driver to get people back into the office. Whether or not this is a goal of your organization, I feel it’s always good to know what brings people together.

Interestingly, according to the Microsoft study that surveyed 20,000 people in 11 countries, creating in-person colleague connections is a key motivation for most employees to return to the office. The study stated, “84% of employees would be motivated by the promise of socializing with co-workers, while 85% would be motivated by rebuilding team bonds.” It adds the younger generations (Gen Z and Millennials) are “particularly looking to connect with senior leadership and direct managers in person.” 

So instead of shipping swag boxes to employees, perhaps an in-person gathering would hit the mark. Are their cost and logistic considerations whenever an organization determines how to best show appreciation — of course. But as Chapman and White warn, there can also be huge negative impacts if the demonstrated act of appreciation is executed poorly or simply doesn’t meet the recipient's preferred language. So let’s give this a bit more thought. 

How can we, as humans who care about other humans, do a better job of showing our appreciation to others? Whether it’s for team members, customers, colleagues, family or friends - let’s uncover the language of appreciation that means the most to them as individuals. If we share that language (instead of our own), we’ll build stronger, more meaningful relationships this holiday season. And that’s a gift to everyone.