What Can a Stroke Teach Us About Leadership?

Day - 🦁 Fearless Friday 

"Empathy is about standing in someone else's shoes, feeling with their heart, seeing with their eyes." – Daniel H. Pink 

Dr. Carson, a brilliant emergency physician and a friend of mine, has spent over 20 years in the fast-paced, high-stakes world of medicine. His calm under pressure and knack for making life-saving decisions are inspiring. One ordinary morning, everything changed. A sudden stroke stole the control he had relied on his entire career. 

For the first time, he found himself on the other side of the hospital bed, grappling with vulnerability, uncertainty, and the long road to recovery. This unexpected role reversal turned his world upside down, yet it also unlocked profound insights about leadership, resilience, and the human spirit. 

Dr. Carson’s story is a powerful reminder that leadership isn’t about perfection or control—it’s about connection, empathy, and the courage to rebuild when life throws its hardest punches. 

💔 Vulnerability: The Leadership Strength We Overlook 

In the first moments after his stroke, Dr. Carson’s world felt as though it had collapsed. The man who had saved countless lives now needed help getting out of bed. "I felt small," he admitted. "Helpless. But then something shifted. I realized that letting others help me wasn’t a weakness—it was trust in action." 

As leaders, we often shy away from showing vulnerability, fearing it will make us appear weak. But vulnerability is where connection begins. Dr. Carson discovered that the courage to admit when you’re struggling is often the first step to building deeper relationships with others. 

A Leadership Reflection:  Brené Brown 's research on vulnerability reveals that it is the birthplace of courage, creativity, and trust. Leaders who embrace vulnerability foster environments where people feel safe to take risks, share ideas, and grow. BTW, if you're interested in a great book about to help you embrace vulnerability I’d invite you to read Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead and view this TedTalk by  Brené Brown on the Power of Vulnerability

Neuroscience at Work 🧠:  When leaders show vulnerability, they activate empathy circuits in the brain, like the anterior insula and anterior cingulate cortex. These connections build trust and create psychological safety—a cornerstone of high-performing teams. 

Actionable Tips: 

• Share a personal story of struggle with your team to normalize vulnerability. 
• Create spaces where team members can share challenges without fear of judgment. 
• Remind yourself: asking for help doesn’t diminish your authority—it strengthens your humanity. 

🤯 Decision Fatigue: A Leader’s Quiet Enemy 

During his recovery, Dr. Carson found himself paralyzed by decision fatigue. From choosing medications to mapping out therapy schedules, every decision felt monumental. He recalled, "I used to think patients should always ask more questions and be proactive about their care. But when you’re scared and tired, it’s hard to think clearly." 

The experience gave him a new perspective. He realized that simplifying decisions for others, whether in a hospital or the workplace, is an act of kindness and a hallmark of great leadership. 

The Leadership Connection:  Herbert Simon’s theory of “bounded rationality” explains that people can only process so much information at once. Great leaders reduce cognitive overload by helping their teams focus on what matters most. 

The Brain’s Response 🧠:  Decision fatigue overloads the prefrontal cortex, leading to poor judgment and increased stress. Leaders who simplify decision-making for their teams help conserve mental energy, improving clarity and focus. 

Actionable Tips: 

• Use decision frameworks, like the Eisenhower Matrix, to prioritize urgent and important tasks. 
• Provide clear guidance by framing choices with concise pros and cons. 
• Build in opportunities for mental rest—yours and your team’s—to recharge cognitive capacity. 

🤝 Trusting the Process—and the People 

For someone who spent his life in control, trusting others didn’t come easily to Dr. Carson. But after his stroke, he had no choice. He had to place his faith in his care team, his family, and even himself. “It was terrifying,” he told me. “But it was also humbling. Letting go didn’t mean giving up—it meant creating space for others to step up.” 

The Leadership Connection:  James MacGregor Burns’ theory of transformational leadership emphasizes trust as a foundation for inspiring and empowering teams. Leaders who show trust create environments where collaboration thrives. 

What the Brain Says 🧠:  Trust releases oxytocin, the brain’s "bonding hormone," fostering stronger relationships and reducing fear. Without trust, teams activate the amygdala, the fear center, which undermines creativity and productivity. 

Actionable Tips: 

• Delegate tasks to your team with full confidence in their abilities. 
• Follow through on promises to reinforce your reliability as a leader. 
• Celebrate team achievements to build mutual respect and motivation. 

👂 ️️️️️The Power of Listening 

One day during his recovery, Dr. Carson hit a low point. He was frustrated with his progress and overwhelmed by uncertainty. A nurse noticed his distress and simply sat with him. She didn’t rush to offer solutions or advice. She just listened. 

"I’ll never forget that moment," he said. "Her listening wasn’t passive—it was active. It felt like she was holding space for me to be seen and heard. That made all the difference." 

The Leadership Connection:  Stephen Covey’s principle of “seek first to understand” emphasizes that listening is the most powerful way to connect and lead. Leaders who truly listen make their teams feel valued and understood. 

Listening and the Brain 🧠:  Active listening engages mirror neurons, helping leaders empathize and build trust. It also reduces stress in the speaker, creating a feedback loop of calm and connection. 

Actionable Tips: 

• Use reflective listening to show you’ve understood your team’s concerns. 
• Eliminate distractions, like phones or emails, during important conversations. 
• Ask open-ended questions to encourage deeper dialogue. 

🛠️ Resilience: The Art of Starting Small 

Dr. Carson described his recovery as "inch by inch." Relearning to walk, regaining his speech, and rebuilding his confidence felt like monumental tasks. But he discovered that small, consistent actions added up over time. "Every little win," he said, "became fuel to keep going." 

The Leadership Connection:  Angela Duckworth 's research on grit shows that perseverance through challenges is a key predictor of success. Leaders who model resilience inspire their teams to keep moving forward, no matter the obstacles. If you want to do a deep dive into the power of resilience check out this video interview with Angela Duckworth: Grit – The Power of Passion and Perseverance and you can get her book here.

The Brain’s Superpower 🧠:  Neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to adapt and reorganize itself, is fueled by repetition and reward. Celebrating small victories releases dopamine, reinforcing motivation and building momentum. 

Actionable Tips: 

• Set micro-goals for yourself and your team to maintain progress. 
• Reframe setbacks as opportunities to learn and improve. 
• Celebrate milestones—big or small—to keep morale high. 

🤔 Reflection Questions  

1. When was the last time you showed vulnerability as a leader? What was the impact? 
2. How can you simplify decisions to help your team focus on what matters most? 
3. Are you building trust through your actions, or are there areas where you can improve? 
4. How can you practice deeper listening with your team this week? 
5. What small wins can you celebrate today to inspire resilience? 

Dr. Carson’s journey from caregiver to patient wasn’t just about recovery; it was about transformation. It reminded him—and all of us—that leadership isn’t about being perfect. It’s about showing up with empathy, trust, and the willingness to grow through challenges. 

As leaders, we are all caregivers in some way. We guide, we support, and we inspire. But sometimes, life humbles us and reminds us to let others take the lead. In those moments, we discover the truest meaning of leadership—not in control, but in connection. 

If you found this article valuable, please like, share, or comment to help others discover these insights! And if you know someone who’s capable of more—someone who would benefit from unlocking their full leadership potential—feel free to share this with them as well. 

To a Better You, 

Dr. Eric Goodman 

P.S. Leadership is a journey, not a destination. What’s one lesson from Dr. Carson’s story that resonates with you? Let’s start the conversation below! 

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