What does the saying "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" mean?

 s this an old wives’ tale?

Absence might make the heart grow fonder. What it really does is change your perspective. It lets you take a step back from the trees and see the forest.

If you are around someone all the time, you get used to it. You get used to their presence. You can come to take them for granted. Their absence makes you suddenly aware of all the spaces they fill in your life.

It strips away the petty annoyances and/or grievances, but it can also remove any chains their presence may have put on you without you being aware. You get a better idea of what the person really means in your life and how the person affects you.

So yes, if it’s someone whose presence in your life is something positive that you have come to take for granted, absence makes you feel the loss of that positivity, and it makes you long for them.

But if it’s someone you didn’t realize was somehow holding you back or negatively impacting your life, it can reveal that, and you can find that you are much happier without them than you thought you would be.

A change of situation brings a different perspective, for better or worse.

Whatever it is, placing distance (even temporary distance) in between two souls creates confusion and raises the question: Will absence make the heart grow fonder or does out of sight really mean out of mind?

It’s believed that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Even i’m realising it still. Depending on the situation, you might actually prefer one over the other. Love is impossible to predict.

Thank you. Struggling with this with a new love interest. Overthinking all of it. This hit home.

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 Thank you ….I believe you realize how much you like / love someone once they go away from you. You start missing those people and you realize the depth of your feelings for them. You can’t wait till you next see them or meet them.

But I think this is applicable only for those who have genuine affections for someone. If you don’t actually care about someone, the applicable saying would be - out of sight out of mind.

So in a way distance is a test of the strength of a relationship!

The phrase "distance makes the heart grow fonder" is an expression that suggests that being physically separated from someone or something can intensify one's feelings of affection or longing. It implies that the absence or distance can actually strengthen the emotional bond and attachment between individuals.

The idea behind this phrase is that when we are apart from someone we care about, we often gain a deeper appreciation for their presence and the relationship itself. The longing or yearning that arises from the distance can create a heightened sense of affection, making the heart grow fonder.

Additionally, distance can also provide space for personal growth and self-reflection. Being apart allows individuals to develop a greater understanding of themselves and their own needs, which can contribute to a stronger and more mature emotional state.

Do you want to add a word or two?

Well actually, the saying is “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. It never made a heart stronger.

People who are in love and separated yearn for each other. And since they know when they see each other again the first meeting again will feel as though their love has grown and become even stronger. You need two people yearning to create that energy.

 When you first see each other again you will be overjoyed and spilling over with love.

Alternatively, it does not work in the “no contact” situation after a breakup because usually only one person is yearning.

That is like one hand clapping. It does not make their love stronger. The actual feeling is almost a grief called unrequited love. Love that is not returned does not grow stronger.

Your comments ……

Fonder and stronger are not synonyms, so because it makes your heart one of these things it does not necessarily make your heart the other. Actually, your heart feels nothing emotional or intellectual so the entire saying is metaphorical, so don’t spend to much time looking for increases in heart affection, if that’s what you think.

If I’m misinterpreting your question and you are looking for a way to actually increase the strength of your heart, you should know it’s a muscle and it needs to be exercised to grow stronger, but be careful exercise will kill you eventually!

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