What is Memorial Day? And How To Show Thanks

I am writing this article because I think there is a lot of confusion about MEMORIAL DAY and how and who to show thanks. Ultimately MEMORIAL DAY is about the fallen, but not just in physical form. Some veterans who are alive, are ALREADY fallen e.g. on edge of suicide etc. Once you reach that level for many there’s no turning back.

“Thank you for your service.” To us veterans the saying is as commonplace as saying “good morning." While we do appreciate this, realize we hear it all time, and it has begun to fall on deaf ears for many veterans because without action they are empty words. No one really ever asks us though, “how we are REALLY doing” or how we are affected by time in combat or how we are transitioning etc. etc. I guarantee you I could go to 10 veterans I know and ask them if anyone’s also asked them how they are coping, and they would say "no". I know because I talk with these guys all the time.

If we really want to work on the veteran support thing then it takes digging deeper than just a simple "thank you for your service," while a much appreciated gesture, is not enough.

I understand people may not know exactly what to say, but if we can seek to engage, we can understand each other. You’re not going to offend us unless you’re just saying and doing something completely disrespectful, disconcerting and ignorant.

We also don’t really care to be thanked either; thanks mean much less than tangible actions. I think if people feel so strongly about support in the first place then back it up with actions not words e.g. thanks. Veterans never asked for thanks, but we just wanted to have a sense of belonging which doesn’t really exist out here in "no man's land" on planet civilian. On that note, and for helping veterans belong and reintegrate into civilian life, if you REALLY want to understand what makes a veteran tick and how to help them then you have to engage us at a deep, heart-to-heart level as we are deep people with deep experiences.

I don’t need thanks, but when thanked, I have promptly replied with "thank you for your support; " see it goes hand-in-hand. The fact that I got to serve my country, enjoy the title of Marine, the brotherhood and relive some of my experiences for the rest of my life is more than enough thanks. 🙏🏿 And I agree with a comment made to me from another Marine I know, it is a little awkward for us to hear "thank you for your service."

I haven’t checked my facts yet, but I would also venture to say that the majority of suicides happen after people have left the military, not while in the military. It is not necessarily what we see when we are over in Iraq or somewhere alike, but it’s what we DO NOT get in diligent follow-through and support from the population as a whole when we are back and into civilian life. It's not about pity or sympathy as we do not want that, but it is about acceptance and belonging, which we do deserve.

In line with HR hiring practices and giving everyone a fair shot, I think it is important to remember that veterans bring a different mindset to the workforce in terms of mission accomplishment. A mission could be a 5 minutes task, or a 5 week project. Ask us about mission accomplishment. It's less about the skills for veterans because of the way we think, and it is more about our personality, potential, and ability to be molded for future growth.

Can you imagine if the Marines just hired someone because they could shoot? A wrong personality could mean someone who is a traitor or simply not mentally strong enough which has dynamic consequences on the battlefield. When my life is in your hands, I don't care how well you can shoot, if you're not capable of ethics from the very beginning.

You have to understand that there are many programs, causes, and regulated support for the veteran population as a whole, but the majority of these programs are not accessible on-demand, and they are hard for veterans to access because they may not know where to look for these programs, or they may simply have fallen into ineligibility. If you're a veteran you shouldn't have to "qualify for support," it's a right.

I would like to leave this with the fact that I am extremely vested in supporting my fellow veterans through my own business ventures, resources, networks and causes. I am truly making an effort to use technology as the solution aid in tackling the PTSD problem. Keep in mind I said "aid," we as people are the solution, but technology can greatly enhance our capabilities to be effective at putting a dent in solving the PTSD problem on a major scale. PTSD is a huge issue, not just with veterans but in so many other societal forms.

I have been supporting veterans since leaving the Marines in 2010 by doing things like volunteering at the veterans nursing home in Minneapolis, and other organizations. A life of service is the best thing someone can do for their fellow man and this earth. If you would like to support any of these causes, then get in touch with me.

Lastly, the framed photo at the top of this article is of dear fellow Marines in my platoon during the Iraq Invasion 2003, and atop of the frame is the flag flown on my truck during the Invasion March - May 2003. - SEMPER FI