What Success??

I love where I'm at right now. I truly wholeheartedly LOVE my life. I love what I have created and who I have become in the process of healing.

We hurt. We heal. We grow. We teach.

But am I successful? And how do we measure success?

Two nights ago I sat in sacred circle with some incredible women - all of us high achievers and deeply heart-centred. There's about 10 of us. And when it was my time to share, a topic surfaced around "being the provider".

As a SoleParent, I am also the SoleProvider for my family. This is something I have pretty much accepted from day dot. Rob died, and I was it. Me. Nobody else. I had the sole responsibility for our young sons. It had never occured to me thinking about whether it was hard or not, it was just my new norm. And I embraced it, wholeheartedly. It helped a lot, embracing my new role as a SoleParent.

Yet becoming the SoleProvider overnight was a different story. I still had a lot to heal around money. I had a rather unhealthy relationship with it, growing up with very little of it. I have done a lot (!) of healing and releasing and reframing around money. And every time I step up to the next level - some talk about breaking through your Upper Limit - it resurfaces.

Next level in business, next layer of healing.

So, here am I, pouring my heart out - while I'm being held by a group of strong women - about worrying whether I am a good enough provider for my family. Feeling "I am still not quite there yet!" And then Cathy says those words to me that had me in a flood of tears - a flood that washed away any doubt about being a good enough provider:

"When Rob died, Marie, you needed to be with those boys! Had you not had been present with both boys and help them process their grief for their father, where would they be now? That is my definition of being a provider! A provider of safety, of Love, of all of the beautiful places to land, to hold their feelings, to allow them to express, to be present in their day-to-day life - that is the definition of provider to me!"

My goodness, I needed to hear that!

It's amazing - the entire time I'm thinking I’m failing as a provider, and I was the best provider they needed in that time. I really was, and I still am.

How often do we hear people talk about "Overnight Success"?

And don't we all know that it takes a whole lot of steps and learning to get to that "Overnight Success"?! We do know, that's for sure!

But what does Success actually mean to you?

Why is Success and Providing still attached to Money?

Or is that just me?

In a world where everything is speeding up to a level where my head starts spinning, I needed to slow down and receive those words.

Those words brought me inner peace; those words stopped me from spinning; they slowed everything down for me, in a way that allows me to be in the present moment. And that's where the magic happens: In the present moment. Accepting and appreciating and celebrating wholeheartedly where I am at and who I am, right now.

I have come so far since losing Rob.

And here's one for all the SoleParents out there:

My hands are not nearly as full as my heart!

Thank you Cathy Domoney for all your wisdom and holding space like a trouper - you rock my world.

With Love

Marie

PS: If you need somebody to hold space for you during your journey through grief, I'm your woman, let's talk! If you know somebody who needs to read this, please share. And of course, if you haven't already, feel free to subscribe to my weekly LinkedIn Loved Letter.