What You Hear in the Silence

Imagine this: you’re walking down a quiet corridor when someone casually drops a piece of advice so simple it almost floats by unnoticed. But those words stick, challenging everything you thought you knew. I’ve often stumbled upon these moments—not in grand speeches but in passing exchanges, the kind that make you stop and think.

I was fresh on the scene, just settling into the new role, when I delivered a presentation that landed with the CTO and their leadership team like a shot of espresso. With 12 sharp minds still recovering from jet lag, I could see their attention snap into focus. As they praised my knowledge and preparation, I was brimming with pride. But while I was riding that high, it was what the CTO said—giving me a look, half amused by my potential, half by my fresh naivety—that brought me back to earth. “I see what you're capable of,” he said. “You are new. You’re ready to run, to fly,” but before you start sprinting, remember the 3Ls: Listen, Learn, Lead.”

Three simple words—yet deceptively hard to live by.

When you step into a new role, there’s this rush to dive in. You’re the new kid on the block, ready to charge in and fix everything. The urge is real—you want to make your mark, show them what you’ve got. But here’s the truth: before you can lead, you have to understand.

Listen. Listen to the whispers in the hallways, the unspoken tensions, the shared glances in meetings. The hopes. The fears. The things people don’t say out loud, but you can feel in the air. It’s more than hearing the words—it’s tuning into the undercurrents that shape the place. It’s like finding the right frequency on the radio. Without this, even the best intentions can miss the mark.

Once you’ve Listened, now it’s time to Learn. But here’s where people trip up. Learning isn’t about facts or formulas. It’s about immersing yourself in the culture—the rituals, the traditions, the loyalties that shape everything. It’s about understanding the unspoken rules, the dynamics that move the chess pieces behind the scenes. According to Harvard Business Review, leaders who take the time to truly understand their organization’s culture are 35% better at retaining team cohesion. That’s not just theory—it’s real impact.

And then, you Lead. But not with haste. Leading isn’t about rushing to the front. It’s about having the patience to lead with insight. Leadership requires the wisdom to wait, to think, to act from a place of understanding, not impulse. It’s easy to feel like you have to jump in, especially when your instincts are pulling you in different directions. But remember, leadership is a dance between insight and action.

It’s not always easy to follow the 3Ls. We’re shaped by our values, beliefs, and the filters we see the world through. Sometimes, your instincts will push you to act—before you’ve fully listened or learned. That’s okay. Leadership isn’t about perfect formulas. It’s about finding balance. There will be times when your values clash with strategy, or when you feel compelled to act on your gut. And that’s okay. Every decision is a blend of what you know and what you believe.

At the end of the day, success isn’t final, and setbacks aren’t fatal. It’s about moving forward, adapting to each new experience, and staying rooted in who you are as a leader. The balance of listening, learning, and leading is a winding path, not a checklist to complete. In that balance, you’ll find the essence of true leadership. Ufff, heavens, I get it now!! Or, I don't!!