What's Good? What's Bad? Who Knows?

We have a dangerous tendency to label every event in our life as either "good" or "bad."

A promotion is good.

Getting laid off is bad.

Marriage is good.

Divorce is bad.

We create these labels based on how society reacts to each event.

You get a promotion and everyone congratulates you.

You get laid off and your friends console you.

A hundred people come to celebrate your wedding.

Your divorce gets swept under the rug.

While we all like to pretend that we know what's good and what's bad, the truth is, we don't know how our life will unfold after these events take place.

Will a promotion lead to more work and less time with your family?

Will losing your job lead to the start of your dream business?

Will marriage lead to an empty life?

Will divorce lead to your freedom?

We just don't know.

There's a Buddhist parable about a farmer and his neighbor that illustrates this point well.

Here's that story...

A farmer owns a horse. The horse helps him tend to his farm and pay for the needs of his family. One day the horse runs away. His neighbor says sympathetically, "Such bad luck!"

The farmer replies, "Maybe. Who knows?"

The next day, the horse returns back to the farm and brings another horse with it. The neighbor sees this and says, "Wow. Such good luck!"

The farmer replies, "Maybe. Who knows?"

A week later, the farmer's son takes a ride on the horse. On the way home, he falls off and breaks his leg. Upon hearing this, the neighbor says sadly, "Such bad luck."

The farmer replies, "Maybe. Who knows?"

The next month, the military comes to the village to draft all able-bodied men to join the war. Every young man in town gets taken away from his family, except for the farmer's son due to his broken leg. "What luck!" the neighbor shouts.

"Maybe. Who knows?" replies the farmer......

This parable demonstrates how our tendency to label life's events is pointless.

Events that look obviously good or obviously bad in the moment can turn out to be the opposite.

By thinking like the farmer we can avoid a roller coaster of emotions and let life unfold how it will.

Whenever something "good" or "bad" happens to you, play the words of the farmer back in your mind...

Ask yourself: "Who knows?"

This will free you from adding unnecessary emotion or judgment to life's event and instead let you experience life as it is.

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P.S. My Wife Pema Sherpa and I have another blog called The Mindful Minute. Check it out here!