What's On Your Mind?

“If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

 - Everyone’s Grandma at one time or another…

I don’t have much of a relationship with Facebook anymore. I used to use it to essentially “collect friends” by “friending” everyone I knew that still had a pulse. It was a fun way to stay in touch with people and see what they were interested in.

That changed a few years ago though. Some of my “friends” were simple acquaintances and a few people I met at the gym. I started to get concerned when I heard of people who posted vacation photos on their account only to find their house robbed clean when they returned. I realized that I couldn’t control the people who were “friends” with some of my “friends”, so I began to clean house of those “friends.”

Then I started to notice the amount of “humble-bragging” done by my “friends.” I grew tired of feeling like everyone else’s lives, families, relationships, and vacations were better than mine. So, I began sweeping out those “friends.”

Then, the war between political parties started. Pretty soon I was inundated by nasty comments, memes, and articles from friends of both parties. Tiring of this nonsense, I began to “unfriend” or shut off the feeds of those “friends.”

Then one day, my Facebook account was hacked and locked. I couldn’t restore it for several reasons, so I decided to completely ditch it and build a new account. This one contains only my oldest friends, shipmates, and my family members. The ones who started in on the political posts were silenced on my feed. It’s now more manageable and I mainly use it to scan BBQ and art forums as well as the Hip Dickson page to get local happenings near us.

Here is the problem with Facebook. When the post bubble asks, “What’s on your mind?” it opens a new can of worms. People say whatever is on their mind. On BBQ forums, you get the “humble-brags” (people posting pics of their ribs and chicken in response to a question), and the “helpful” feedback which is often thinly veiled criticism. My wife finds the same on her gardening forums. It appears social media is the new way to express whatever is on your mind. And I mean WHATEVER. Sometimes what’s on our minds ought to just stay there.

So, if you’d like to be part of the Facebook solution and not the problem, may I suggest the following?

1. When You’re Happy, Be Careful How You Post. If you have good news to share, then share it, but keep in mind that not everyone needs to hear it. Maybe reach out to your close friends by text rather than put it out for the entire world to see. If there is even the slightest chance you’re just bragging, reconsider.
2. When You’re Sad, Don’t Post. The “woe is me” posts may result in some sympathy from friends but ask yourself why you need to post. Your real support won’t come from your social media friends (save for the crying face or the little praying hands emojis). If you need support, reach out directly, not to the entire world.
3. When You’re Pissed, Don’t Post. Venting or ranting might make you feel better but think about how it looks once you’ve cooled down. Your post may have already been seen and reacted to. What message does it send once the frustration has passed?
4. When You Just Feel Like Being an Ass, Don’t Post. I’ve tried to be better about this. My wife called me out for a snarky post I did with a photo of a Dickson Electric flyer letting us know that high speed internet would soon be available. I simply said I wasn’t holding my breath (out of frustration considering I spend $450.00 per month to rent an office JUST to have high speed internet. This is on top of what we pay at home for Viasat satellite). I realized it helps nobody to say what everyone else is probably thinking. Just let it go.

There was a time when social media was uplifting and fun. I hope it can be again someday. Until then, maybe we can all do our best to make it a happier place for all.