When the Battle Picks You

TL;DR: In Jan 2021, I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer, specifically Granulosa Cell Tumor — a rare type that only accounts for 2–5% of all ovarian cancer. The good news is it’s a slow-growing type of cancer, not as aggressive as other types of ovarian cancer and I caught it early, leading to a very positive prognosis. Read on for a beginner’s guide to Cancer 101 and how life can be so full of surprises at times, but there will always be a silver lining.

Last February 4th was World Cancer Day and if this were last year — I would’ve given not much attention to it. But this year is so much different for me. It started on 26th Dec’20, where I suddenly collapsed while dropping my kids at their weekly lessons. I had a sudden piercing pain in my lower abdomen and blacked out. Long story short, after a few days of hospitalization, various testings, and consultations — I found out that I had a 10 cm tumor in my right ovary. The next course of action was to have removal surgery and biopsy to determine if the tumor was cancerous or not. The surgery was successful, however, the tumor has already ruptured partially and my doctor had to perform a unilateral oophorectomy, which is a fancy name for removing one of the ovaries. After the biopsy was completed, I was diagnosed with Granulosa Cell Tumor, a less popular type of ovarian cancer, at stadium 1C.

Now, as I know you’re pressed for time or might be reading this article during another boring weekly status meeting zoom call and need to rebound soon, here’re some quick key takeaways that I got during my experience:

Disclaimer: I’m not a certified Oncologist and this is purely a layman’s first-hand experience taken from various doctor’s consultations, mad googling, and other sources. Some of the medical info may sound obvious, so apologies for my ignorance but hope it will be useful information for those who were just as clueless as me :)

1. Malignant Tumor = Cancer

When my Obgyn first broke the news to me that I had a tumor — I knew it sounded bad, but not very sure if tumor = cancer. Add to the complexities the different terms in Bahasa Indonesia (i.e: tumor jinak vs tumor ganas), which made things seem muddier.

According to Cancer.Gov, a tumor is when there’s an uncontrolled growth in our body’s organs, muscles, or bones. There are two types of tumors: malignant (cancerous) and benign (noncancerous). So to Bahasa Indonesia speakers;

Tumor Jinak is basically a benign tumor (harmless) and Tumor Ganas is malignant, which is cancer.

A biopsy will usually be done to identify if a tumor is benign or malignant. For my case, after the removal surgery and biopsy, we found out the tumor was unfortunately malignant, hence a Pathology test was done to determine the staging of cancer (more information here) through samples taken from the tumor itself and surrounding organs.

2. Cancer comes in 120+ different forms

Types of cancer are usually named for the organs where the cancers form (i.e: lung cancer starts in the lung, etc) and the type of cell that formed them. Each has a different type of treatment, medicines, risk factors, and complications. The top 3 cancer cases for women in Indonesia are breast, cervical and ovarian cancer. The good news is the first two can be detected early via periodical check-ups (mammograms and pap smears). Cervical Cancer is even preventable via HPV vaccines and may soon be entirely eliminated, which is awesome!

So ladies, don’t skip your yearly medical check-up and get that HPV vaccination done!

Ovarian cancer though is a bit tricky. It often goes undetected since there are no major symptoms during the early stages, and even if there’re symptoms, they can be easily mistaken for other illnesses (i.e.: bloating, stomach pain, etc). It’s dubbed the ‘silent killer’ for a good reason as usually it’s detected at a later stage when it becomes harder to treat and can be fatal. Early detection is crucial. If you feel there’s a pain in your lower abdomen, persistent bloating, pressure, abnormal fullness after eating — or in general feeling that something is off, go have a check with your ObGyn.

3. Learn to really give thanks for what you have, for such a time as this.

After a difficult and bizarre 2020, just like everyone else, I was expecting (and hoping) for an easy 2021. We were planning to move to a new home and environment so we’re all looking forward to a fresh start to the year. But life is indeed full of surprises :)

Instead, me and my husband spent the first few weeks of 2021 in much confusion, uncertainties, and anxiety. We were scrambling to get opinions from different doctors, planning treatments, and also relocation logistics while trying to maintain a sense of stability for our three kids. I still remember nights when we would just stare at the wall, trying to figure out what we should do and making sense of it all. It felt like life pulled the rug from our feet and spun us while we’re blindfolded. We were shocked, clueless, and just dumbfounded. I always remember a saying, "Pick your battle wisely". But what happens when the battle picks you?

My first question was WHY? I’ve been quite a healthy person with a reasonably healthy lifestyle. Of course, I’m guilty of the occasional dose of char kway teow or your usual fast-food suspects — but I ate my fruits and veggies, with chia seeds for good measure! My family had no history of cancer so nothing genetic could’ve caused it. I also didn’t have super stressful work. It’s demanding at times but more fun/exciting-inducing stress — not disease-inducing stress. It’s almost unthinkable that this would’ve happened to me and I struggled with that notion in the beginning.

But my faith taught me that “… in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”- (Romans 8:28)

That gave me peace that my God is in control. This sickness is not from Him, but if He allowed it to happen — I know He has my best interest in mind and this will end well for me and my loved ones. That has been my fuel to fight this battle.

Also, I thought how when I had blessings and good things in my life; never once I asked God — WHY? I simply gave thanks and received it with joy, as if I deserved it. But now when something not as nice happened to me, I acted as if an unfair and treacherous thing has been done in my life. I’ve learned to really trust and give thanks to God at all times.

More than anything, I’ve learned to really treasure and appreciate those around me. My husband, who has been my pillar of strength, my children, my parents — people that I took for granted in the past. Often, we only look through the imperfections and forget that life is too short to focus on the bad things.

This type of content maybe is not LinkedIn appropriate, as it’s not professional material per se. But after scrolling through an array of career updates, product launches announcements, and yet another article on how to be an effective leader during the pandemic — I hope that this story can remind you to stop and smell the roses, no matter how busy you are at work.

Be kind to others, go call your parents, give that extra hug and kiss to your spouse and let your children disturb you during your zoom call. Because tomorrow’s not promised and no matter how invincible you think you are right now, life can be as fickle as the wind.