When Fear Keeps You Playing Small

The other day, an old client contacted me, asking, “Arjun, do you provide leadership coaching?”

I was curious, so I asked him to tell me more.

He took a moment, then said, “I’m at a place where things are going well. Maybe it’s time to take the leap and build something meaningful—something bigger than myself. But, every now and then, my mind gets hijacked by smaller thoughts—about money, short-term goals, or just staying comfortable where I am.”

I could sense he was at a crossroads: ready to grow but hesitant to let go of what felt safe.

He continued, “Honestly, I think a lot of fear is holding me back. Even though things are better externally, I still feel unsafe inside.”

It’s something I’ve seen in so many people, and it’s something I’ve experienced myself. Even when life gets better on the outside, the old fears and stories we carry don’t just magically disappear. They stick around, whispering doubts, urging us to play small.

I shared this with him, explaining how much of our fear is rooted in outdated conditioning. It’s the voice of self-preservation, formed long ago, trying to keep us "safe." But here’s the irony: often, the danger it’s warning us about isn’t real anymore. It’s just a mental loop we haven’t updated.

He nodded, then said, “I want to shift that. I want to step into more confidence, more abundance.”

I told him that’s exactly the kind of transformation I help people with: moving from fear to love, from scarcity to abundance, from playing cautiously to playing fully.

Then he asked, “But will we also focus on short-term goals and accountability?”

It was a fair question.

While I could help him with that, I gently explained why it might not serve him best at this moment. If we’re trying to create space for something big—something meaningful—we have to let go of the smaller wins that keep us tied to the everyday grind.

Here’s the thing: clinging to short-term goals might feel safer, but it often keeps us distracted, pulling our attention back to immediate challenges instead of creating space for long-term transformation.

Thinking big requires letting go of short-term validation. It requires trust—trust in the process, trust in yourself, and trust that the bigger vision is worth the temporary discomfort.

Here is a question to reflect on: Where in your life are you clinging to small wins that may be keeping you from playing a bigger game?

I wish you find the strength, support and self-belief to take big leaps in 2025!

With love,

Arjun

PS: If you’re looking for clarity or confidence to create a life you truly love, I’d be happy to support you. You can schedule a free introductory call to explore how coaching with me can help.

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