"When I Chose Me : A Journey Towards Being Truly Human"

Life has a tendency of educating us on things we'd rather forget at odd hours. Among the various trials and epiphanies this year has brought me, it gave me this insight that I've been letting slip too long now-putting myself first is not selfish. It is a must. A necessity for my betterment, for relationships, and for my journey from being human to truly embracing what it means to be human.

In today's issue of The Journey from Human Being to Being Human, I speak for a deeply intimate realization-which may resonate well with you, too.

Most people tend to live their lives like jugglers, trying to keep everyone around them in good humour, while their needs, aspirations, and wellbeing fall through the cracks. Society brainwashes one into thinking self-prioritization is wrong-even indulgent. But this year, I discovered how fundamentally flawed that notion is.

The Burden of "Always Available"

Like all of you, I spend hundreds of days putting others first-family, work, friends, even strangers. It sometimes felt good, but over time, things just started to shift inside me. Feeling drained, emotionally stretched thin, having trouble finding my joy in the things that once inspired me.

One day, a simple question from a close friend really hit me: "When was the last time you did something just for you?" I didn't have an answer. It wasn't that I didn't have time; it was that I hadn't given myself permission to put my own needs before anyone else's.

Learning the Value of Boundaries

It started small—taking an evening for myself, setting aside a weekend for something I loved, saying no without guilt. At first, it felt uncomfortable, even unnatural. But little by little, I realized that these moments of self-focus were not acts of neglect towards others; they were acts of nurturing towards myself.

I was surprised by an even more wonderful thing that began to occur; I was more present for the people I loved as well. My energy, my empathy, and my patience with others were rebuilt through taking care of myself in the first place.

The Shift from Guilt to Growth

The turning point was when I stopped considering self-care as selfish and began to think of it as a show of self-respect. The realization was that being selfish did not equate to rejection; it meant showing up as the best version for them and for me.

It made me think of the instructions they give you when you board an airplane: "Put on your own oxygen mask before helping others." It's not because you are more important but because no one can help anyone when they can't breathe.

Toward being Human

Putting myself first taught me something deep about what it means to be human. It's about balance: honoring my own journey while uplifting those around me. It's the understanding that the self and self-prioritization are not acts of vanity but rather critical steps in becoming more compassionate, grounded beings.

It taught me to listen to myself, honor my needs, and value my happiness as much as I value the happiness of others. And doing so, I realized that the most profound connections-with others and with the world-begins with the connection you hold with yourself.

So go ahead and ask yourself... When did you last put your own needs first? If you can't remember easily, maybe it's time to start.

In this journey from being human to truly being human, let us embrace the truth that prioritizing ourselves is not selfish—it’s the foundation upon which we can build better relationships, stronger communities, and a more fulfilled life.

Thanks & Regards Vishwanathan Ramchandran (V!Ram)