"WHEN I HEAR AN INNER VOICE JUDGING ME HARSHLY, WHO FROM MY PAST IS ACTUALLY SPEAKING TO ME?"

Asking the above question for yourself is an important part of facing the voices in your head. 

A key step in your healing journey.

For most clients I've worked with, who suffered from deep feelings of low self-worth, it wasn't much about what they think about themselves. 

It was about what the most voices in their head said about them. Thought they were.

It was their belief in these voices over time.

It was them now regurgitating those words as if they were theirs. 

But this was a lie. They weren't originally from them. They only "became" so over time.

These voices were mostly from closer ties like parents, siblings, a boss, some teachers or some important figure within their family or immediate environment.

Through my own personal healing journey, and experience from working with different people, I noticed this pattern:

The voice whose words you're listening to about who you are is rarely your own.

The false beliefs that it originated from you about yourself is the problem.

It is the belief in those voices as your own that has made you take them literally.

It is common to finally hear the actual voice owner after some time of finally facing it during our sessions.

You'd often hear a client scream, "she told me I wasn't as pretty as my sister," "that I was not fair," "that I didn't know book and have a slow brain," "that I talked too slowly and learn too slowly," "that I broke plates too easily and might fail in life," "that it's because of us they're suffering in their marriage..."

…..the words are endless.

These were voices from the past. 

From your caregivers who were projecting their own insecurities or dreams at you.

They go on to haunt you, and make you feel less of a human. 

Because you didn't fit into their dreams. Their desires.

It wasn't your fault. It was their projection.

Reworking your self-talk without addressing the question:

"When I hear an inner voice judging me harshly, who from my past is actually speaking to me?"

Would be incomplete work.

Part of what I do in sessions is exactly this. Identifying whose voice it is that is judging you. That won't let you breathe.

And in most cases, more than 98% of the time, it wasn't your own voice.

Healing is recognizing that those voices aren't yours.

That those words aren't from you.

That, they didn't really know you enough for that rather early existence to determine who you are.

That you release those words finally,

AND BEGIN TO REPLACE WITH YOUR TRUTHS.

The truth that you're worthy.

You're here, standing tall and beautiful.

The truth that your existence matters.

The truth that you have the capacity within to always recover when you fall, heal when you are broken and move for your victory.

The truth that you MATTER in the collective aim of this universe.

Again, I ask, whose voice is speaking to you today??

To your healing.

Joy Iseki 

#joyisekihealingnotes