When a Kind Attitude Gets Taken for a Ride! 🚕

Recently, I had an interesting experience that left me pondering a fundamental question: How do we balance kindness with boundaries?

As a #behavioral skills trainer, I often travel for training programs, and during my last trip, I hired a taxi driven by a young chap about my son’s age—maybe 20 or so. 🧑 I often sit in the front seat to break down that invisible wall between "service provider" and "customer" and, of course, to enjoy a casual chat.

Our #Journey Unfolds 🚗

Along the way, we stopped to pick up a dear friend Mohan Selvaraj , someone who’s traveled the world, is well-read, and still remains the most humble and down-to-earth person I know. We shared a delicious, home-cooked meal at his place 🍛, then hit the road again, laughing, chatting, and sharing stories over a stop for coffee. ☕

By the time we arrived at the university campus, where I was scheduled to conduct the training, my friend and I were assigned separate rooms, each with two beds. Generously, my friend offered the driver a place to stay in his room, recognizing that spending the night in a car might be uncomfortable. However, the driver politely declined, saying he was fine in his car.

An Unexpected Discovery 🌙

The next day, we left for our respective sessions, leaving our rooms open for the housekeeping staff to tidy up. It seemed like a straightforward plan, but when we returned late that evening, I was met with a surprise. I walked into my room to find the air conditioning, lights, and fans all left on, and the bathroom looking like it had been, shall we say, used and abused. 🛁

It didn’t take long to put two and two together—our driver had found his way in, availing himself of the comfort that had been generously offered but declined.

Reflecting on Generosity vs. Boundaries 🤔

This incident got me thinking: Is kindness always the best approach? Or should we sometimes tailor our generosity to people’s actions and respect for the space we share?

Have you ever extended a helping hand, only to feel like it was taken advantage of? 😕 Or perhaps, you’ve shown kindness to someone, only to question if that kindness was valued in the same way? 💬

As behavioral professionals (and as humans), we’re often faced with this conundrum. We teach respect, empathy, and the value of treating everyone with decency. But here, a question lingers:

Should we #treat people the way we want to be treated, or the way they have earned our trust? 🤔

In this case, my friend and I treated our driver like an equal—a valued part of our journey. Yet, by his actions, he displayed a lack of respect for the very trust we had extended. This experience didn’t diminish my desire to treat others well, but it did prompt a valuable reminder: kindness is best balanced with discernment.

What Do You Think?

How do you set boundaries when kindness could be mistaken for leniency? How do you decide when to draw the line?

I’d love to hear your experiences and thoughts on finding that balance between empathy and self-respect.