When Knowing Isn’t Enough: Why We Struggle to Prioritize Ourselves

I used to think knowledge was power. If I knew better, I would do better. Simple, right?

But life has a way of humbling you. Especially when you’re a professional, balancing the demands of work, family, and the expectations you place on yourself.

It’s ironic, isn’t it? The shoemaker with broken shoes.

The doctor neglecting their health.

The mental health professional burning out.

We dedicate ourselves to helping others—yet struggle to apply what we know to our own lives.

Let me share a story with you.

A few months ago, I found myself sitting in my car outside the office. My son had been teething, which meant sleepless nights and rushed mornings. The day ahead was packed with appointments, back-to-back meetings, and a mountain of paperwork I couldn’t seem to shrink.

I knew I was running on empty. I could feel it in the dull ache behind my eyes, the stiffness in my shoulders, and the quiet voice in my head pleading, Take a break. You need rest.

But instead of listening, I grabbed my bag, put on my best smile, and pushed through the day.

That evening, as I collapsed onto the couch, I thought about my patients. The advice I’d given them that very day. "Your body keeps the score." "You can’t pour from an empty cup." "Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s survival."

I knew all these things. Intellectually. But knowing hadn’t saved me from skipping lunch, ignoring my needs, and letting exhaustion take over.

Does this sound familiar to you?

It’s not just me. It’s you. It’s so many of us who know what’s good for us, but can’t seem to internalize it. We’re stuck in a gap—the space between understanding something and living it.

Why does this happen?

First, let’s talk about habits. Knowledge lives in our minds, but habits are stored in our bodies. When you’ve spent years prioritizing work over rest, saying “yes” to everything, or placing others’ needs ahead of your own, these patterns become automatic. Changing them requires more than just knowing—they require reprogramming.

Then there’s resistance. Sometimes, even when we know better, we hold ourselves back. Maybe we feel guilty for taking time for ourselves. Maybe we fear being seen as selfish or weak. Maybe, deep down, we don’t believe we deserve the same care we give to others.

And, of course, there’s life. Let’s face it—when you’re juggling a thousand things, it’s easier to default to old patterns than to invest time and energy into creating new ones.

So, how do we close the gap? How do we go from knowing to doing?

Here’s what I’ve learned:

Start Small

Big changes can feel overwhelming. So, start with something manageable. For me, it was committing to eating lunch every day, no matter how busy I was. It didn’t solve everything, but it was a step.

What’s one small promise you can make to yourself this week? A ten-minute walk? Five minutes of deep breathing? One glass of water before coffee?

Create Rituals

Habits thrive on consistency. Anchor your self-care practices to something you already do. For example, I started using my commute home to decompress—turning off the radio, taking deep breaths, and letting the day fade away before stepping into mom-mode.

What’s one daily moment you can transform into a ritual of care?

Shift Your Mindset

This one takes time. It’s about recognizing that self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. Remind yourself: You can’t give your best to others if you’re running on empty. You are your most important asset. Protecting your well-being isn’t selfish—it’s wise.

As I write this, I’m not claiming to have mastered the art of prioritizing myself. It’s a journey, not a destination. Some days, I still fall into the trap of overdoing it, of ignoring the signs my body and mind are giving me.

But I’ve also seen how small, intentional steps can change everything.

The other day, I was walking through the forest with my son. The air was crisp, the leaves crunching under our feet. He was laughing as he ran ahead, his little hands reaching for the falling leaves. I felt fully present, fully alive.

And I realized: this is what happens when you start to bridge the gap. When you stop just knowing and start doing. When you prioritize yourself—not to be selfish, but so you can show up fully for the moments that matter.

So, I’ll ask you this:

What’s one thing you already know you need to do for yourself?

And what’s one small step you can take today to make it happen?

Because life isn’t just about what we know. It’s about how we live. And the greatest gift you can give—to yourself, to your loved ones, and to the world—is the best, healthiest version of you.

 Warmly,

Florina