When Leadership and Inclusivity Go Too Far

Hi friends,

A few weeks ago, I was coaching a leader who was struggling with an all-too-common challenge. Let’s call her Sarah.

Sarah is an impressive leader—the kind who wants to inspire her team to do their best work, to help them feel motivated and valued.

But despite her efforts, something wasn’t working: “My team seems disconnected,” she confided. When I asked for more specifics, she seemed stuck, unable to pinpoint exactly what was going wrong.

I was very curious to start working with the project team in a full-scale workshop. That’s when I started to understand the dynamic:

It was as though Sarah’s vision was “too far ahead” of her team; they were in the dark about how to catch up.

This made me think about how easily our best intentions as leaders can go astray. Because leadership is all about balance. In this case…

• Balancing your big-picture focus with your team’s immediate needs
• Balancing what you think is best with what your people actually need.

It’s when those scales tip too far one way or the other that even well-meaning actions give rise to unintended challenges.

When Something Feels “Off”

As I zoomed out from Sarah’s story, I started to see patterns in the conversations I’ve been having with other teams.

Many leaders I work with tell me the same thing: “We feel like something isn’t working, but we can’t quite put our finger on it.”

Sometimes, their teams feel overburdened. Other times, it’s a lack of alignment or clarity. 

Whatever the specifics, the symptoms are strikingly similar: low morale, reduced collaboration, and a creeping sense that something is “off.”

Here’s the theme: These struggles often stem from well-meaning efforts to lead better or build more inclusive teams—efforts that backfire when taken to extremes.

And that brings me to a question I want to explore with you today: What happens when well-meaning leadership and inclusivity efforts go awry?

Toxic Leadership: When Vision Becomes a Burden

Leadership, at its best, inspires. But what happens when inspiration turns into overwhelm?

Sarah’s story is a great example of this. Her intentions were admirable—she wanted her team to share her vision for the future, to feel energized and motivated by the possibilities. 

But in practice, her approach left the team feeling lost, unsure how they could connect their day-to-day work to her ambitious goals.

This is what I call the toxic side of inspiration.

It happens when leaders focus so much on the big picture that they unintentionally leave their teams behind. Without clear guidance, practical steps, or support, teams can start to feel demoralized instead of energized.

“Toxic inspiration is when leaders are so focused on the big picture that they unintentionally leave their teams behind.”

The Warning Signs

• A disconnect between leadership’s vision and the team’s understanding of priorities.
• Overwhelmed teams that don’t know where to focus their efforts.
• A culture where enthusiasm for the future feels like pressure instead of excitement.

The Solution

The antidote to this type of toxicity is clarity and alignment. In action, that means:

• Breaking down your vision into actionable, achievable steps. Tools like the SOI 360º assessment can help you align communication styles to ensure everyone understands and feels empowered to contribute.
• Listening actively to your team’s concerns and feedback. Consciously use the Listen SOI style when you ask: “What support do you need to make this vision a reality?” 
• Celebrating small wins along the way to keep the team motivated and focused.

Strong leadership isn’t just about vision; it’s about making that vision achievable for everyone, together.

Related: Check out my post on Toxic Productivity and Work-Life Balance here.

Toxic Inclusivity: When Inclusion Becomes All-Encompassing

On the flip side, inclusivity is a value every leader should champion. You wouldn’t think it had a toxic side, would you?

But it does. 

When inclusivity becomes a rigid “include everyone in everything” mindset—that’s when it can backfire terribly.

I’ve seen teams where every decision, no matter how minor, gets caught up in endless consultations. Leaders are afraid to move forward without unanimous agreement, and progress inevitably slows to a crawl.

This is what I call the toxic side of inclusivity: when inclusivity is interpreted as universal involvement, rather than thoughtful inclusion. The reality is, not every decision requires input from everyone, and trying to please all voices can dilute focus and momentum.

For instance, imagine involving the entire team in decisions about a minor software update. Would it truly streamline the process? Or would it lead to endless debates that detract from higher-priority goals?

“Toxic inclusivity: when inclusivity is interpreted as universal involvement rather than thoughtful inclusion.”

The Warning Signs

• Decision-making processes that drag on indefinitely.
• Teams feeling frustrated by the lack of progress or clear direction.
• Leaders hesitant to make tough calls for fear of excluding someone.

The Solution

The key to healthy inclusivity is intentionality. That means:

• Being thoughtful about when and how to involve others. Asking yourself: “Who truly needs to be part of this conversation?”
• Setting clear boundaries for collaboration. For example: “This is the direction we’re heading, but I’d love your input on how we execute it.”
• Using the SOI influencing styles Include (thoughtfully engaging key voices) and Direct (driving focused action), to find a balance between participation and progress.
• Empowering smaller groups or committees to own specific decisions, while keeping the broader team informed.

True inclusivity doesn’t mean including everyone in everything; it means creating space for meaningful contributions without losing sight of progress.

Over to You

One of the most powerful qualities of leadership is the ability to pause and reflect. 

Please, please forget about feeling bad if you haven’t got “the perfect balance,” simply take the time to consider how these dynamics play out in your team. 

That alone speaks volumes about your commitment to growth—yours AND your team's.

So this week, I’d like you to reflect on the following:

• Do you think you’re inspiring your team, or unintentionally overwhelming them? Why?
• How are you fostering inclusivity in ways that drive progress, rather than slowing things down?
• What tools (like the SOI 360º assessment!) could help you better understand and adapt your leadership style to your team’s needs?

And remember: no leader gets it right every time. The key is to notice when something feels “off” and stay open to exploring why.

Have you noticed these dynamics in your team? I’d love to hear your thoughts or challenges in a DM!

— Govert