When the Pressure to be 'Well' becomes Overwhelming!

We live in an age where wellness has become a booming industry, with social media overflowing with motivational quotes, glowing influencers, and self-fulfilling life coaches promising to unlock the secrets to happiness and success purely through manifestation!

On the surface, this might seem like a positive trend, a movement toward better mental health and personal growth. But beneath the surface lies a growing problem - toxic positivity. This relentless emphasis on being upbeat and “well” at all costs is not only unrealistic but can also be deeply harmful, particularly to those who are vulnerable or are already struggling.

Toxic positivity is the idea that no matter how difficult a situation might be, people should maintain a positive mindset. While positivity can be beneficial in moderation, toxic positivity dismisses or invalidates genuine feelings of sadness, anger, frustration, or despair. It’s the forced smiles, the “good vibes only” culture, and the expectation that every setback is simply an opportunity for growth.

For someone scrolling through Instagram or TikTok while grappling with anxiety, depression, or trauma, seeing endless posts about gratitude journals, miracle morning routines, and "manifesting your dream life" can feel like an indictment. If you're not feeling great, it can seem like you're failing at life. Instead of encouraging self-compassion, toxic positivity pressures people to suppress their emotions, creating an environment where vulnerability and struggle are seen as weaknesses.

The wellness industry has transformed into a multibillion-dollar empire, capitalising on our collective desire for self-improvement. From yoga retreats to expensive green juices, wellness is marketed as the ultimate status symbol, a lifestyle choice that promises happiness, productivity, and fulfilment. But for many, this constant drive to optimise every aspect of life has the opposite effect.

Rather than alleviating stress, the pressure to adhere to wellness trends can actually exacerbate it. The expectation to meditate daily, maintain a perfectly balanced diet, and curate an idyllic morning routine becomes just another item on an already overwhelming to-do list. Wellness ceases to be about feeling better and starts to feel like an obligation, one more way we’re falling short.

Even more troubling is the proliferation of self-styled life coaches and influencers. While some offer genuine insight and support, MANY lack professional training and perpetuate harmful ideas. Simplistic platitudes like “just think positive” or “happiness is a choice” fail to acknowledge the complexity of mental health and life’s challenges. For someone battling depression or trauma, these messages can feel dismissive and alienating, reinforcing the notion that they’re not trying hard enough to be well.

For people who are already vulnerable, those dealing with mental illness, financial stress, grief, or chronic health conditions, toxic positivity can be particularly damaging. It creates a culture where suffering is silenced, and people feel pressured to hide their struggles out of fear of judgment.

Imagine telling someone with anxiety to "just calm down" or encouraging someone with depression to "look on the bright side." These well-meaning but misguided comments can deepen feelings of isolation and shame. Instead of offering support, toxic positivity invalidates their experiences, making it harder for them to seek help or open up about what they’re going through.

The constant barrage of wellness messaging can also create financial strain. Vulnerable individuals might feel compelled to spend money they don’t have on expensive wellness products or courses in the hope of fixing themselves - leaving people chasing a never-ending cycle of unattainable perfection.

The antidote to toxic positivity isn’t more positivity, it’s authenticity, empathy, and balance!

Life is messy, and so are our emotions. Happiness isn’t the only valid feeling, sadness, anger, and frustration are just as important. Normalising these emotions allows people to process their experiences and heal in a healthy way.

Wellness shouldn’t be about chasing an ideal or conforming to trends. It should be about finding what works for you, whether that’s therapy, meaningful relationships, or simply taking time to rest. True wellness is personal and doesn’t come with a price tag.

Positivity isn’t inherently bad, it’s when positivity is forced and weaponised that it becomes toxic. Real positivity embraces the highs and lows of life, offering hope without denying reality.

As we move forward, at dara & co we want to change the conversation around wellness from one of perfection and performance to one of compassion and connection.

For any of you reading this, who feel overwhelmed by the relentless pursuit of “wellness,” it’s time to let go of the pressure to always be okay.

It’s okay to have bad days, to feel uncertain, and to struggle. After all, being human isn’t about being perfect, it’s about being real.