When the Problem Is the Job, Not You - How to Take Back Control

When the Problem Is the Job, Not You - How to Take Back Control

I was a tractor stuck in Alabama mud—spinning endlessly with no forward progress. This was a job I had a few years ago.

I tried everything - new certifications, finding sponsors, even hiring a coach. But while I kept trying to “fix” myself, the real problem was the bad work environment.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and undervalued, sometimes it’s not you—it’s where you’re stuck. Here is a list of things I wish I had known then-

Recognize your value (even when it’s overlooked)

It is so easy to lose sight of your worth when you’re undervalued at work. Your confidence takes a beating and you questions start popping in your head, "Did I just imagine that I am a high potential achiever?"

If you are at that point, take a time out. Then get a pen and paper out. Or your ipad. Whatever works to write this down. Start with listing your achievements—projects led, challenges overcome, and results delivered. I promise when you see your contributions in black and white, you will automatically start to regain your confidence.

Stop pouring effort into a broken system

Here’s a hard truth I had to learn - No amount of personal growth can fix a broken system. You can keep pushing, but if the environment doesn’t support you, it won’t matter. Have that talk with your manager. Bring your results and make a clear case for why you deserve more. If you’re met with excuses, know when it’s time to look for greener pastures instead of wearing yourself out.

Pick what is actually worth controlling

Candidly, the “control the controllables” advice only works to a point.

No matter how much you “control” your attitude, work ethic, or mindset, nothing changes because the issue isn’t you; it’s where you are.

Don’t get me wrong, taking responsibility for what you can control is still important, but it needs a serious reframe. The key is to focus your energy where it actually counts.

Start by building skills that align with where you want to go next—not what you think you need to “fix” to survive a toxic situation. It's time to prepare yourself for something better!

Lean on allies

When I was stuck, one major factor was that I couldn’t see the problem clearly. I kept turning the blame inward, convinced that I just wasn’t doing enough or that there was something wrong with me.

One night, after yet another long day of feeling defeated, I sat down with my husband. He is usually my sounding board and my best friend and that day the voice of reason I desperately needed. He listened. And then, “This isn’t about you. You’ve done everything you can. It’s the place you’re in that’s broken, not you.”

It made me see that all my efforts to change myself were wasted in an environment that refused to change. It wasn’t easy to accept, but it was exactly what I needed.

That is why I can’t stress this enough - find your person—the friend, partner, mentor, or colleague who knows you well and isn’t afraid to give you the real, unvarnished truth.

Refuel

Being overwhelmed and underappreciated chips away at your energy.

When that happens, the instinct to just “push through” often takes over. I know it well—I’ve fallen into that trap more times than I care to count. When I’m faced with a problem I can’t seem to solve, my knee-jerk reaction is always, “Just one more try. Just a few more minutes.” But almost without fail, I end up hitting a wall.

It’s only when I finally step back and take a break that things start to click.

When I come back with fresh eyes. more often than not, I solve the problem on my first or second attempt. The mental reset makes all the difference.

Relentless pushing when you’re exhausted rarely leads to breakthroughs—it leads to burnout. The smarter choice is to stop. Step away. Refuel.

Your inner voice does matter

Deep down, you often know when a situation is broken. Don’t ignore that feeling. Hard work is valuable, but it shouldn’t feel like punishment.

I spent too long spinning my wheels and trying to “fix” myself in an environment that wasn’t worth it. If you’re feeling stuck, it might be time to get out of the mud. You don’t have to settle for frustration and burnout. Reclaiming control starts with taking one step in the right direction. Trust yourself. You’re not meant to stay stuck.

Growth is not equal to busywork

I kept chasing new certifications, convinced that the next one would be the key to finally moving forward. I thought if I just learned more, worked harder, and stacked my resume higher, I’d crack the code to success. But all that relentless learning, without a clear plan or purpose, became just another way to spin my wheels. It didn’t move me forward; it only added to the exhaustion and confusion.

Invest in yourself in a way that moves you closer to your vision.

And when you doubt whether all your work and skills are enough, remind yourself: “I have exceptional skills, and these skills are needed in the market.” Say it again until you believe it.

Because when you do, you’ll find a freedom you’ve never felt before.

I spent too long spinning my wheels and trying to “fix” myself in an environment that wasn’t worth it. If you’re feeling stuck, it might be time to get out of the mud. You don’t have to settle for frustration and burnout. Reclaiming control starts with taking one step in the right direction. Trust yourself. You’re not meant to stay stuck.


Dorothy Mashburn is an interview and salary negotiation coach who is on a mission to empower women of color (and allies!) to confidently negotiate their value. If you need someone in your corner as you negotiate your job offer, book a complimentary game plan call here.

Uncover hidden insights in interviews with, "How to Mine for Golden Nuggets" - my definitive e-book on how to maximize your compensation package!

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