When should you get married

A common belief is that the age at which you marry determines marriage success. 

But how true is this? What does the data say? 

While there’s no one-size-fits-all answer to when you should get married, there are various factors to consider if marriage is something you want.

Most people hope their marriage will last a lifetime and be fulfilling, but unfortunately, not all marriages end in “happily ever after,” and that’s okay. 

Divorce rates vary across cultures, with Western countries, like the U.S., having some of the highest rates. 

In the U.S., on average, 40% of first marriages and 60–70% of second and third marriages end in divorce. 

While happiness shouldn’t be the sole purpose of marriage, misery shouldn’t be tolerated just to stay married. 

In this article, I’ll share findings from my research on the relationship between age at first marriage and its relationship to marriage quality, and divorce risk.

What is a Good Marriage?

This is a difficult question to answer, as the definition of a “good” marriage can vary greatly from one person to another. 

However, a study by the Institute for Family Studies sought to define marriage quality using 16 different metrics. 

Among them, three key factors stood out as particularly important: conflict resolution, relationship satisfaction, and marital instability.

Conflict Resolution

When it comes to conflict resolution, the study found little correlation between age at first marriage and the ability to handle disagreements. 

While there was a slight improvement in conflict resolution as age increased — peaking at 31–36 — the ability to resolve conflicts declined for those aged 36 and older. 

This was somewhat surprising, as I had assumed that older individuals would handle conflicts better, perhaps due to greater maturity.

Relationship Satisfaction

In terms of relationship satisfaction, the study showed minimal variation across different age groups at the time of marriage. 

However, there was a noticeable gender difference: women consistently reported higher levels of satisfaction than men up to age 35. 

After 36, this trend reversed slightly, with men reporting slightly higher satisfaction than women.

Marital Instability

The most significant finding came in relation to marital instability.

Those who married at 18–20 had the highest levels of instability, with divorce or separation being more common in this group.

Marital instability dropped significantly for those who married between 31–35, hitting its lowest point in this age range.

However, instability rose again for those marrying at 36 or older.

This pattern makes sense, as individuals in their early 20s often face challenges such as career building, financial instability, and for many women, the pressures of starting families — factors that can create stress and strain on a marriage.

Is There No Perfect Age to Get Married?

Every decade brings cultural and economic shifts that affect how we view marriage. 

By “culture,” I mean both individual backgrounds and societal trends. 

These shifts influence how we perceive roles in society and reshape traditions.

For example, 50 years ago, the average age at first marriage was 23–24 for men and 21–22 for women. 

Today, those ages are 30–31 for men and 28–29 for women. This reflects broader changes.

Culturally, religious individuals tend to marry younger and more often. 

But as religion plays a smaller role today, people feel less pressure to marry, a key factor for earlier generations. 

Economically, younger people today earn less than their parents did at the same age, making it harder to start families.

I argue culture plays the biggest role in divorce rates and marriage quality. 

Studies show that up until 1995, marrying after age 32 significantly reduced divorce risk, plateauing thereafter. 

Between 2006 and 2010, divorce risk was lowest around age 30 and rose among those marrying later.

To Conclude

Marriage is one of life’s most significant decisions for those who choose that path.

While some data suggests certain age ranges may be associated with better outcomes, the reality is far more nuanced.

Cultural shifts and personal priorities continue to reshape how we view marriage, and no single formula guarantees success.

The “right” time to marry depends on individual preparedness and the cultural and economic context.

Preparedness, in my opinion, is the most important contributor to a good marriage.

Unlike readiness — which implies being fully equipped for marriage — preparedness means being willing to face the challenges it brings.

It means learning to resolve conflicts rather than avoiding them, forgiving when offended, letting go of grudges, and, most importantly, sacrificing for the relationship.

A good marriage isn’t defined by age but by mutual respect, communication, and shared values — qualities that can be developed over time.

Ultimately, the best time to marry is when you’ve built a strong sense of self, know what you want in a partner, and are prepared to navigate the complexities of a committed relationship.