When Solitude Becomes Strength

Solitude Helps Us Find A Path To Discover the Gift of Equanimity

Some things are truths. This is one. In our fast-paced, hyper-connected world, solitude is often misunderstood and mistaken for loneliness. It's portrayed as something to avoid, as if a vacant cave where loneliness thrives. Today's Tartarus this is not. But it can be a portal for change.

Yes, solitude, once and when embraced, may be one of the most transformative experiences in a person's life. Because in that cavern is where the essential transmutation takes place. This is far from a state of deprivation, because solitude allows us to reach what feels unreachable.

Therein lies the paradox, in the ability to disconnect from external noise and connect most deeply with ourselves. I know, on the surface it sounds terrifying, but it’s in those moments of stillness that we gain access to the rarest gem and grandest treasure in the form of profound clarity, fortitude, and the power to navigate life’s challenges with untapped resilience and unfettered consciousness.

The greatest overdue gift that solitude brings us is the slow pioneering and discovery of equanimity — the ability to remain calm and composed in the face of adversity. Because adversity and uncertainty are the only guarantees in this realm.

Yet, new realms and reaches are made possible and probable by a dance with solitude. When is the last time you stepped into this dance? Where did you meet that space to observe your thoughts and emotions without the deluge of distractions of daily life? The purest form of introspection can be an undoing and ultimately the unsubscribing that must take place before we can begin to understand the steps to build self-awareness.

Just this week, I watched the talk by Deepak Chopra at the Wisdom 2.0 Conference on the state of our consciousness in this AI powered world. The incomprehensible, in his depiction, becomes accessible only when we get still, and allow ourselves (and others) to be stunned by silence, ultimately experiencing a sensation that is irrefutable and immutable.

By recognizing patterns in our sensations, feelings, behavior, strengths, and thoughts gives us an more expansive living room for growth. And it is only through this process, we can develop a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us. Entertaining the silence for a moment invites in the dwindling of a construct reality, whereby solitude paints new images on the walls of the caves in our mind. It is there, by the fire that burns in our hearts, that we must face the outlines of our fears, insecurities, and anxieties head-on, before we can be offered the opportunity for healing and growth.

And once and after that healing commences, we find ourselves no longer so inextricably dependent on external validation for understanding our place in the world and taking relevant action. This is a practice, and in its repetition and refrain, we learn to walk at the threshold, separating ourselves from the projections by the external world. When the placemats setting our table are made up of the stresses of work, personal conflicts, and life’s unmeetable challenges, the ability to remain centered is invaluable. Better yet essential.

Equanimity is not just a concept, nor a locked door destination. It is an active state of mind arising from the maintaining of balance, beginning with your own mind.

It allows you to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. It is a rewiring that blooms from a cauldron of calm composure, measured in solitude, to become the most powerful asset in both personal and professional life.

In all walks of leadership, equanimity is the hallmark of earned wisdom. Leaders practice for attaining equanimity in order to make decisions under pressure, manage crises, and bring about harmony amidst teams. Confidence is no more than a byproduct of being present, mindful, and in control of our emotions. The ability to lead with calm assurance, even in the most turbulent times, comes from a deep well of inner peace, but we must first tap that well under our own strength and sensing. That strength is built away from the prying eyes of gurus and authors and keynote speakers, so don't be fooled by their calls. This is only ever cultivated in moments of solitude.

Solitude is strength and only builds when we first reconnect with our inner selves, to then lead the self that meets an other.

Resist to persist. Disconnect to reconnect. Reflect to renew.

If we must be in the world that demands immediate reactions and constant engagement, let us not be of that same world.

Seek the strength that no machine can measure nor mimic, a solitarian source of wisdom, and allow yourself to approach your next nexus with calm determination and a steady mind.

Next stop, solitude.