When you are not judged,there is no drama

It’s not as if judging was a subject to choice. Try meeting somebody and not immediately forming a judgement of what they are like, even if it’s only on appearance. Judging is not the problem it’s not being able to review and revise that judgement as more information comes to you. Being judgemental is just that, an inane and innate prejudice. Judging a person or a situation was and in a lot of cases still is, important for survival and well being.

It is an automatic response and impossible to avoid. At least in my judgement. If you don’t want to be judged that is often because you know you are prone to judge, and assume others are the same. The two are often linked like that. As such, to stop judging people, you should let go of the fear of being judged. When you stop thinking about being judged all the time, you may stop judging so much in the process.

Of course it is natural to compare the actions of others to what we would do. Now does that mean ours is the only or the correct way to do something, no. Sometimes we judge that the other person is doing it better, so we change our methods accordingly. Without any form of judgement, there is no improvement. It is when we are holding others accountable to our judgements that we need to be cautious.

There was a girl in our locality. She was the real deal. One day, some aunts decided to put in their two pennyworth. Aunt 1 : Hey, stop, you rebel girl.

Girl : Yes, how can I help you.

Aunt 2 : I've seen your boyfriend drop you here late night. You're a girl of bad character

Girl : Okay.

Aunt 3 : What's this you wear all the time? You reduce it by few inches and you're naked.

Girl : Okay.

Aunt 4 : And I had seen you waiting in your boyfriend's car when he was buying beer. You're a shame.

Girl : Okay.

Aunt 5 : So, now will you change yourself?

Girl : No.

Aunt 1 : Why?

Girl : Because now I know, if I change myself then I end up like you.

Aunt 2 : Apologize right now.

Girl : You see that dog-dirt over there. So, many people passed by, they've so much contempt for that dog-poop yet no one ever apologizes. All the four aunties vanished like spectators from a cricket match when India is on the verge of losing. Why do people judge? Because they've too much time to spare over others.

In our society, a women who believed that wearing short clothes invited unwanted attention judges a girl wearing a mini skirt. She told herself “ To what extent, will people go to seek attention, Thank God, I am not like this girl. She looks like a bad character”. A girl who believed that wearing short clothes were a symbol of modernity judges another girl wearing some traditional clothes. She tells herself “ Oh god, such an old fashioned girl. Looks like a Behen Ji. Thank God, I am not like her”. What is common in both the cases? A sense of superiority over the other.

Both of the above mentioned girls somehow think that in some way, they are superior than the people who are behaving exact opposite to them. We judge other people to satisfy our own self by making our minds believe that yes, we are superior. Have you ever seen a topper judging another topper? Have you ever seen a backbencher judging another backbencher? Or have you ever seen a guy who makes videos judging some other one? Or have you seen an introvert judging another introvert? No. Because they all lie on the same lines, on the grounds. As soon as people deviate from our lines, our grounds, we begin to judge.

Today, my close friend introduced his friend to me. We three sat to drink after a long time this year! When I'm drunk I become silent and romantic, just like now! This guy was working as a software tester in Pune and recently shifted to Bangalore. He started blabbering, complaining and it was irritating for me to bear his burdens. He started saying, “Bro, my team lead is 10 years experienced and she doesn't know excel basics, I'm just 2 years experienced and I'm pretty good than her. I really wonder how she became a team lead without knowing anything.”

His complaint list was going on and on, then I interrupted him and said, “Bro, she might not know the basics of excel and you might be pro in your basics and might be performing well. But, many people in India are working just to meet their end needs and not everyone is working out of passion. So stop complaining that she doesn't know that and this. Everyone has their own problems, struggles and stories. Stop judging!” He didn't speak until we wrap up our bottles!

Life is uncertain, stop pointing out your colleagues or Managers. Not everyone is working out of a passion to be up to date according to trending technologies. Most of the people are working to uphold their financial responsibilities. Many people are suppressing their talent and trying to become one among you just by wearing the Employee ID card and doing the work which they are not interested just because of meeting the monthly end needs. Cheers!