Who you hang out with could be damaging your business!

“I just don’t hang around anybody that I don’t want to be with. Period. For me, that’s been a blessing, and I can stay positive. I hang around people who are happy, who are growing, who want to learn, who don’t mind saying sorry or thank you…and (are) having a fun time.” – John Assaraf, Author.

We are influenced by the people around us. This is because our energy interacts and influences the energy of everyone and everything that we come into contact with. We become like the people that we hang out with. These people influence how we think, feel and behave.

Do you remember your parents not allowing you to hang out with ‘those kids’ because they are a bad influence?

Jim Rohn, author and self made millionaire puts it this way:

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

It’s interesting to consider who we spend most of our time with and how they influence our thinking, feeling and behaviour. Your five could be a combination of family, friends, business peers or perhaps colleagues at work.

Have you ever worked in a job where you were surrounded by negative naysayers who whine and moan about everything? Over time you become infected by this negativity and it reduces your motivation and performance.

Sometimes the negativity of others holds us back and sabotages our dreams. Especially if we are around them a lot of the time.

I call these people Drains because they infect you with their negativity and drain your energy leaving you feeling anxious or deflated. They remind me of a Dementor sucking the Soul out of their victim in the Harry Potter books by J K Rowling!

How to recognize a Drain. They:

• put you down at every opportunity
• criticize your decisions and actions
• undermine your self confidence and self belief and make you feel unworthy
• tell you that it will never work
• try to dissuade you from pursuing your goal
• always complain or gossip
• will blame other people for their current circumstances
• dismiss your ideas as ‘just a phase’ you’re going through
• try to hook you and pull you back down to their level

Do you recognize some of these people?

In contrast there are people who radiate positive energy. I call these people Radiators – just hanging out with them makes you feel inspired, happy and motivated. They are fun to be around.

How to recognize a Radiator. They:

• believe in you
• support and encourage you in your goals and dreams
• celebrate your successes with you
• are nourishing and uplifting
• are positive and authentic
• genuinely wants you to succeed
• are inspirational
• listen with an intent to understand you
• call you on your excuses

If you want to be successful you need to surround yourself with successful people who take action and have momentum.

The key word here is choose… Because you always have a choice.

Here’s how you can start to improve the energy around you…

Stop colluding – don’t get hooked into a Drain’s negative conversation. Stop colluding and joining in. Don’t get involved. Focus on solutions – not blame or simply walk away.

Reduce your time with toxic people – if possible, stop spending time with them completely. If you work with these people then decrease your time around them. Distance yourself from them.

Surround yourself with Radiators – consciously look to build relationships with people who have positive energy and who support you in your growth. Spend more time with these people. Find out where they hang out. They are everywhere! Start looking for them.

When I decided that I wanted to be a successful coach, I started to hang out with successful coaches. I joined a Mastermind Group of like-minded people. This really helped because people shared their ideas and success strategies. Join a club, a networking group, mastermind program or become involved in social activities where these people hang out.

Model the behaviour of successful people – Notice the behavior of successful people. What are they reading? How are they learning? Don’t become them – instead, become a better version of yourself, by being around them. This will help you to build your self confidence and commitment to your goals.

Get accountability – When you have an accountability partner, the two of you hold each other accountable for showing up and taking action. This might be: meeting deadlines, accomplishing goals, taking the next step forward, and creating momentum and progress toward whatever you want to create in your business and your life. It makes them more real and impactful and greatly increases your motivation to achieve them.

How can YOU surround yourself with more Radiators in your life?

(Reach out to me at info@coachbrilliant.com if you’d like information about joining a small and intimate Masterminding Group with me in 2022)