Who Are You Trying to Please?
Orvin Kimbrough
CEO, Accidental Banker & Author — Helping Professionals Build Confidence, Own Their Story, Elevate, and Lead with Authenticity. Author of Twice Over a Man. Visit orvinkimbrough.com or theaccidentalbanker.com for more.
I believe all human beings share a desire to be liked. We long for respect, and in many cases, we hope to be admired. This desire—natural as it is—often pushes us to compromise how we show up. We hold back parts of who we are. We soften our words, conceal our true viewpoints, and sometimes shrink ourselves to fit the mold of others’ expectations.
This is especially true in the workplace, where the stakes feel higher. Your perspective can directly influence the success of a project—or even the trajectory of the company. And yet, how often do we silence that inner voice for fear of rejection or criticism?
I’ve lived this tension. Over the years, I found myself seeking approval from peers, leaders, and colleagues—each with their own unspoken criteria. During my first year in leadership at the bank, I jumped through hoops, constantly shifting and reshaping myself to win favor. But the reality was, the target kept moving. One person’s approval rarely translated to the next.
The desire to get along, to be agreeable, and to avoid friction is understandable. Scripture even encourages us to live peacefully with others.
But Galatians 1:10 lays it out plainly:
“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
This verse cuts to the heart of the matter. Our ultimate audience is God. His approval is the only one that truly matters. If our actions align with His will—if our hearts are in the right place—we have no reason to fear.
I often counsel leaders who are successful but unfulfilled—unoptimized—because they’re unsure how to please their boss or navigate the workplace. They find themselves contorting into someone else’s image, afraid to stand firm in their values.
Here’s what I remind them:
Your job is not to please man. Your job is to be faithful to God.
When you stay aligned with God’s vision, He opens doors no man can close. He surrounds you with people of influence—people who recognize your value, even if your immediate manager doesn’t. But that kind of favor requires faithfulness. It takes standing firm, even when the winds of opinion shift.
This doesn’t mean we abandon humility or kindness. We are still called to live by the Golden Rule—“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Integrity, decency, and respect must shape how we operate.
But at the end of the day, our gaze must remain fixed on God—not the approval of those around us.
The truth is, no matter what you do, someone will criticize you. Some will misunderstand you. Some may even resent you.
And that’s okay.
Act boldly. Stay aligned with the vision God has given you.
God didn’t call you to be small. He called you to stand tall—to be a giant in faith, purpose, and calling. But you will never rise to that level if you’re chasing the ever-changing approval of others. Keep your eyes on Him.
I’m reminded of a line from Eminem’s “Not Afraid” that echoes this truth:
“All those who look down on me, I’m tearing down your balcony.”
It’s not about rebellion. It’s about refusing to live under someone else’s ceiling when God has called you to soar.
So, I leave you with this—
Stop shrinking. Stop waiting for permission to be who God made you to be.
Speak up. Stand firm.
And remember, you’re not here to win the approval of man. You’re here to walk in the favor of God.
#FaithOverFear #GrowthMindset #BeBold #SundayReflections #orvinkimbrough
If this newsletter resonated with you, I’d love to hear your perspective. Add your insights in the comments and share this with your network.
About Me:
Hi, I’m Orvin Kimbrough, volunteer, board director, chairman and CEO helping professionals scale confidence, leadership, and influence through mindset shifts, expanded networks, and bold action. I share insights on leadership, resilience, and personal growth—rooted in my journey from foster care to CEO. 📖 Twice Over a Man – My recently released book is called inspiring, honest, and transformative. Readers describe it as a leadership manual wrapped in a powerful, relatable memoir of perseverance and faith.
For more of Sunday Reflections (and broader lessons learned), visit orvinkimbrough.com
Senior Vice President Director Community and Economic Development at First Mid Bank and Trust
13hThank you for sharing…Very poignant message to start the New Year. In this political climate “the targets are constantly moving”resonated with me. Ironically I set a few personal goals for this year…1) to stay focused on the work. and 2) Allow the Lord to order my steps and let him lead and guide my actions 3) be an instrument of his will and 4) do not focus on my own aspirations because the changing whims and desires of man are narrow and limited in scope when compared to the almighty. Bless you for this message!
citizen of the world 🌎 THE MUSÆUM LIBRARY Of HPA - Hyde Park Atelier of the Arts & Sciences - A World Heritage Museum of Peace - Humanist - Culturalist - Interfaith - Inter-Religious - Comparative Mythology - ☆ -
2dThank you, Orv, for the encouragement. En Cœur/with heart. Braveheart ♡
Construction Accountant, Continuing Education Instructor, Speaker and Naturalist
2dOrv, you said: “The truth is, no matter what you do, someone will criticize you. Some will misunderstand you. Some may even resent you.” I’ve experienced this more times than I can count, as I’m sure many others have. My brother calls people who harbor resentment or hostility “haters.” Oddly enough, thinking of them this way has helped me cope. Instead of spiraling into thoughts like, “Why do they hate me? What can I do to make them like me?” Now I think, “That person is a hater, and there’s nothing I can do to change that. Move on.” There have also been times when I’ve been misunderstood, and my words or actions were taken out of context. Someone once told me that if my actions come from a place of good intent, and people still misinterpret or resent them, I’ve done nothing wrong. Of course, I can work on my delivery and phrasing, but misunderstandings will still happen. It’s hard for me to accept, but I remind myself of these words: “Christy, if in your heart you know you had no ill intent, you have done nothing wrong.” And from my brother: “Remember, Christy, there will always be haters. You must not let them rule you.” Thank you for sharing with us Orv.
Construction Accountant, Continuing Education Instructor, Speaker and Naturalist
2dMy comments are long winded, so I will post twice. This comes from being a thinker... and feeler. Your words speak to me. There are moments when I genuinely don’t care what people think, but then again, I do—if that makes sense. I fear being perceived as a jerk if I’m too strong in my opinions, even when I know in my heart I’m right. While I generally speak up, my struggle lies in backing down when criticized or met with disagreement. Even when I know I’m right, I often retreat or, after a few attempts, give up. When I do speak up—whether at work or in my neighborhood—about protecting the environment, I feel aligned with God’s favor. Educating others about conservation, advocating for sustainable farming, and teaching eco-friendly gardening practices brings me joy, fulfillment, and a sense of purpose. In those moments, I know I’m making a difference. I often daydream about having a larger platform, where my voice is heard, and my influence can create meaningful change.
Assistant Professor at Maryville University
2dThank you Orvin, this is a great conversation starter 🫶🏽