Why Asking for Help is Hard - and How to Start Doing It!
Anna Manning
Executive Confidence Coach | Corporate Trainer | Host of the "Confident At Work" Podcast
I recently had several conversations with people who confessed that, even when they want and need help, they find it incredibly difficult to ask.
Can you relate?
Driving to another city last weekend, we got a flat tyre. Sitting at the side of road the couple who lived in the house we'd broken down outside of, kindly offered us any help we needed. An hour or so and two coffees later I decided I'd take them up on the offer and ask to use their toilet - until my partners mortified response stopped me in my tracks - you cant ask them that!
We all have different levels of comfort when it comes to asking for help and support, what's yours?
What's Holding You Back?
Here are some of the thought patterns my coaching client's have uncovered that can make asking for help seem so daunting:
- The fear of being a burden – Do you feel like asking for help will make you a burden to others?
- What it means about you – Do you think asking for help suggests you’re not capable, or that you’re not good at your job?
- Perfectionism – Do you believe you have to be perfect, and that perfect incudes being able to do everything on your own?
- The 'risk' of vulnerability – Asking for help can feel vulnerable. What if the answer is "no"? Or you end up being disappointed? If that's a worry for you, it makes sense that you might not want to ask and expose yourself to rejection or disappointment - so you avoid asking altogether.
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And I want to be clear - all these are all valid reasons! No one wants to be a burden or be thought of as bad at their job. But in this week's episode I'm encouraging you to reflect if you want things to change - are those thoughts really true?
If asking for help is something you struggle with, this episode will help you notice those sneaky beliefs which stop you asking for help when you need it, and start building a support system that works for you!
Listen now:
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Anything else? Email Anna here: hello@yesyoucoaching.com