Why Betrayal Drains Your Energy: Understanding Fatigue and How to Recharge

Betrayal is a profound and often traumatic experience that not only affects our emotional well-being but can also have significant impacts on our physical health. People who have been betrayed commonly feel drained, exhausted, and unable to muster the energy they once had. This post explores the connection between betrayal and fatigue, diving into the physical symptoms that accompany emotional trauma and offering actionable tips for recovery.

1. The Stress Response: Why Betrayal Feels Like A Physical Threat

When we experience betrayal, especially by someone close to us, our bodies react in a similar way as if we were facing a physical threat. This response is often referred to as the “fight-or-flight” response, where our bodies release stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline to prepare for danger. While this reaction can be helpful in immediate threats, betrayal is an experience that lasts for some time, causing stress hormones to remain elevated over time.

Chronic exposure to these stress hormones can lead to fatigue and dysfunction of our adrenals. This happens when your adrenal glands, responsible for managing stress, become overworked and eventually less effective. The result? Persistent fatigue, a weakened immune system, a greater susceptibility to illness, and an overall drained and depleted feeling. Recognizing this is key to understanding why you might feel physically tired after a betrayal. In fact, according to the many thousands of people who’ve taken the Post Betrayal Syndrome® (PBS®) quiz to see to what extent they’re struggling, 71% report having low energy and 63% experience extreme fatigue.

2. Emotional Trauma Takes A Physical Toll

Emotional trauma is not just “in your head” — it affects your entire body. Studies in psychoneuroimmunology (the interaction between psychological processes and the nervous and immune systems) have shown that emotional trauma can weaken the immune system, making you more susceptible to illness and, of course, fatigue. This is why betrayal, a form of deep emotional trauma, can leave you feeling physically weak and more vulnerable to everyday illnesses, further draining your energy reserves.

Additionally, trauma often leads to increased muscle tension, headaches, digestive issues, and other physical symptoms. When your body is constantly under stress, it’s less able to regulate these physical symptoms, making them more frequent and severe. This connection between emotional trauma and physical symptoms explains why betrayal can make you feel physically exhausted. Again, according to the Post Betrayal Syndrome® quiz 45% of those betrayed have a digestive issue for example. So imagine having a digestive issue, being exhausted, trying to make sense out of your experience with betrayal which is a shock to the body, mind and heart. It’s no wonder why we’re exhausted.

3. Ruminating On Betrayal And Mental Exhaustion

One of the most common reactions to betrayal is rumination — the tendency to obsess over the betrayal, replaying events in your mind and questioning what went wrong. While it’s natural to try to make sense of the betrayal, excessive rumination can lead to mental exhaustion. Your brain uses a lot of energy when you dwell on painful events, which can leave you feeling mentally and physically drained.

The key here is to recognize when your thoughts are going down a spiral and to practice techniques like mindfulness or cognitive reframing. Rather than replaying the betrayal, try focusing on constructive thoughts, such as what you can do to move forward or what steps you need to take to heal. Of course, that’s just one idea but when ruminating turns into “marinating” we’re stuck in Stage 3 (out of the 5 Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough)-THE most common Stage we get stuck in.

4. The Role Of Sleep Disturbances In Fatigue

Sleep issues are another common side effect of betrayal and emotional trauma. When you’re dealing with feelings of betrayal, it’s normal for your mind to stay active, especially at night. You may find yourself waking up frequently, having nightmares, or struggling to fall asleep because your brain is constantly processing what happened. According to those who’ve taken the Post Betrayal Syndrome® quiz, 68% report sleep issues.

Lack of quality sleep compounds feelings of fatigue, making it harder to function during the day. Not only is it harder to function, our responses are dulled, our discernment weakened and our clarity and focus are dimmed as well. To improve sleep quality, consider developing a consistent nighttime routine, practicing relaxation techniques before bed, trying mindfulness meditation or falling asleep while listening to something soothing to drown out the “noise” in your mind. These techniques can help you ease your mind, allowing you to achieve a deeper and more restful sleep, which is essential for recharging your energy.

5. Isolation And Loneliness Compound Fatigue

After betrayal, especially if it involves a close friend, partner, or family member, many people tend to isolate themselves. You may feel mistrustful of others, ashamed, or unwilling to be vulnerable again. However, social support is one of the most important factors in recovering from emotional trauma.

Isolation can amplify feelings of fatigue and make you feel even more drained. When we spend time with supportive people, our bodies release oxytocin, a hormone that can reduce stress and promote feelings of safety and calm. If you’re feeling fatigued, consider reaching out to friends, doing something you find enjoyable, or even seeking professional help from practitioners highly qualified in helping you move through your betrayal experience. Surrounding yourself with empathetic people can help you rebuild trust and recharge your emotional batteries.

6. How To Recharge: Practical Tips For Recovering From Betrayal Fatigue

To recharge after experiencing betrayal, it’s important to address both the physical and emotional sides of recovery. Here are some steps you can take to regain your energy:

• Exercise Regularly: Exercise helps reduce stress hormones and releases endorphins, which can improve your mood and energy levels. Even a short walk can have a positive effect on your well-being.
• Eat a Balanced Diet: Chronic stress depletes essential nutrients like magnesium and B vitamins, which play key roles in energy production. Focus on a balanced diet rich in whole foods to support your body’s recovery.
• Practice Mindfulness, Meditation, Journaling, Prayer, Ect.: Any practice that can help reduce rumination and calm your nervous system is a good idea, allowing you to let go of painful thoughts and recharge mentally.
• Seek Professional Help from Those Well Studied in Betrayal Trauma: Working with a professional who deeply understands how to predictably move you through betrayal trauma can provide the support and tools needed to move forward. Trust your gut here. If you feel heard, validated and understood that can be very helpful, but beware if you’re not moving any closer towards the next healing Stage as this will deeply root you to Stage 3 (where most people get stuck and stay).
• Reconnect with Hobbies and Passions: Betrayal can make you lose interest in things you once enjoyed. Rediscovering activities and hobbies that bring you joy can help restore some of the energy you’ve lost and remind you that there’s more to life beyond this experience.
• Set Boundaries and Rediscover Self-Respect: Part of the fatigue from betrayal comes from lingering emotional attachments and overthinking. Setting boundaries with the person who betrayed you or, if needed, cutting ties can protect your emotional energy and allow you to focus on healing. Prioritizing self-respect and self-compassion can significantly reduce emotional and mental exhaustion.

7. Moving Forward: Building Resilience After Betrayal

Recovering from betrayal and the resulting fatigue is not an overnight process. Building resilience involves acknowledging the pain, focusing on what you can control moving forward, and deliberately use the experience as an opportunity to change whatever wasn’t working for you. Understanding that emotional and physical fatigue are interconnected and real can help you take active steps toward recovery and transformation.

Betrayal can be one of life’s most challenging experiences, but with time, effort, and the right strategies, you can regain your energy and find peace. Remember, healing from betrayal isn’t about forgetting — it’s about reclaiming your life and ensuring that your energy is invested in people and pursuits that truly matter.

Dr. Debi-A Trusted Resource in an Untrusting Niche

Dr. Debi Silber, Founder and CEO of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and  National Forgiveness Day is a WBENC-Certified WBE (Women’s Business Enterprise) is an award-winning speaker, bestselling author, holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert. Through a predictable, proven multi-pronged approach, Dr. Debi and her team of Certified PBT Coaches/Practitioners help people heal (physically, mentally and emotionally) from the trauma of shattered trust and betrayal. Get started on your healing here.