Why change is scary (and how to beat your fear)

Would you trust me if I promised you that 90% of change is good?

A month or so ago, I wouldn’t trust myself with such a statement! But with a few gray hairs and some wise people in my network, I now trust myself to embrace it vs. fear it.

I’m now going through change with respect to my business; being faced with some long term engagements that may impact my freedom & creativity. Another change pending could be placing me out of an opportunity because I did my job well. And finally, I may be pausing some of my projects in a favor of more personal time off. I’m scared of these changes, because of the uncertainty that comes with change. Even more scary is that I have to provide both you and myself a framework to navigate changes with the mindset it is good and to trust the process!

Most of you may receive Change Management training from your company because “change” is being imparted on you. If you are an avid reader, there are many frameworks on change. A favorite one of mine is about teams that take you through the phases of “Forming”, “Storming”, “Norming” and “Performing”. This and many others are all good in theory, but for everyone change is personal and often lacks the human and emotional element and where most will fear it.  It is because I find most resources are lacking in this area that I wanted to share a framework with you that I think can be even more valuable. 

To start, you must ask yourself a few important questions to understand your starting point: 

• Do you fear change?
• How often has change resulted in something bad for you?
• How often has change resulted in something good for you?
• Have you ever regretted not going with a change?
• Do you fight change?
• Why do you fear change? If you do, when did it start and is it still relevant?

Step 1: Shift your mindset to err on the side of excitement and what change can be for you. When was there a time when Change was good for you? Did it happen to you or did you create the change? (New Job, New Location). Think about the times when Change was positive for you and shift your mindset from being risk averse to the possibility 90+% change will result in something good. Easier said than done, but what if you ask yourself: What if this change, I will be successful!  Don’t fear failure, but fear regret of not embracing the change and coming out better on the other side.

 Step 2: What can you control? In every change, there is something you own whether your attitude, actions to prepare for the change, questions you can ask to help you navigate the challenge. The more information you have with a positive mindset, the better you can maneuver through the change.

 Step 3: What can you not control? It could be that there is a decision to downsize for which you cannot influence. Maybe your team focus is being changed to a new direction; that decision has already been made and you have to accept it, good or bad. Once you get through any disappointment, revert to step 2, What can you control? I never want you to feel you don’t have options, you do and that’s why I’m here for you to talk through things… reach out to me!

Step 4: Acknowledge your feelings about the change, never push them aside; it will be a source of negative energy if you don’t have an outlet to feel them, talk about them, be angry about them. Find your way to either manage the emotion or even celebrate it if it’s a good change. If we don’t deal with our emotions, it will simmer down below and prevent you from performing.

Step 5: Check in with yourself – when you get through the change and are performing again, you need to pause and reflect that you made it through and what were the steps you took to manage through this. The next time change happens, you can reflect on your resiliency and how you got through as a source of strength for the next change.

Back to my story… I was a bit sad due to the uncertainty of some of my upcoming changes and I knew I had to honor how I felt. I took a few days off from work to just be with our dog Gabbi and watch Netflix. I rested and I let myself go with the flow and thought about what I was gaining by these changes. Giving myself the time I needed and the mindset that the changes were good has brought me back to a good place. I’m excited for my new possibilities to enjoy my life more and do purposeful work in service to you. 

What stories of change would you like to share? I’m here to listen and perhaps we can have a conversation.

Now is the time for you to collect your thoughts and take action. I want you to succeed and this framework can enable you to do it yourself. 

However, if you need more help, I’m here for you as the Drop In CEO, CEO whisperer or as a sounding board. 

To hear more about This topic please tune into my podcast that is releasing this Friday 10/27/23. 

Would you rather have a quick 1-2-1 to discuss your specific challenge? 

Could The Drop In CEO be your support system? Direct Message me on LI or contact me by schedule a short call and let’s have a conversation. Until then, I wish you much success.