Why do women regret casual sex more than men do?

Yes, women are more likely to regret decisions to engage in casual sex whereas men are more likely to regret decisions not to engage in casual sex.

Why is this?

Let us visit the reasons one at a time.

1.Evolutionary Principle - Women bear greater costs of poor choices of sexual partners since their minimal investment in childbirth is greater than men (pregnancy and breastfeeding). In contrast, men's reproductive success is primarily been limited to impregnation. Therefore, while women are predicted to regret a poor choice of casual sex with a partner who is uninterested in committing to a long-term relationship, men tend to regret passing up sexual opportunities.

2. Sexual Gratification -  Men regret casual sex less than women because men experience greater sexual gratification than women in casual sex encounters. There are three domains of gratification: physical pleasure, orgasm, and how important it is for them to achieve orgasm. The casual sex satisfaction in terms of getting pleasure, attention from their partner is much less likely given the poor sex education most men have from porn. So why would a woman want casual sex if it is not even giving her pleasure?

3. Worry - A worry about pregnancy may account for the sex difference in casual sex regret. There are three domains of worry: pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and sexual reputation. It is found that worry about pregnancy or STIs do not contribute significantly to casual sex regret but worry about reputation does.

4. Disgust - There are three domains of disgust: sexual, pathogen, and moral. Short-term sexual encounters can encompass all three forms of disgust, as one may contract an STI, find the sex itself disgusting, or believe the one-night-stand immoral. Women, in general, are seen to have greater disgust responses, and this sex difference is especially strong in the domain of sexual disgust. The following statements mark the disgust related to a casual sex encounter - “the sex was disgusting”; “it was unhygienic”; and “it was wrong/immoral.”

5. Partner's sexual skill or competence - Having casual sex with a sexually skilled partner “my partner was skilled enough to satisfy me sexually” reduces sexual regret in women. On the contrary, women who had mediocre quality sex experienced more negative emotions following a casual sex experience.

6. Influenced - Negative emotions are experienced if one has been coerced, coaxed, or pressured into having sex. Being pressured (“I felt pressured to have sex” to “I felt obliged to do it”) is a common reason, most women report for engaging in casual sex.

7. Taking initiative - Finally, relative to women, men take the initiative in having sex approximately twice as often, both in couples and in casual sex encounters. If one has taken the initiative and the choice is bad then regret could be higher.

8. Other negative emotions - Guilt over enjoying sexual experiences, and spectatoring or the act of seeing oneself from a third party perspective during sex, shame, or emotional difficulties (e.g. loss of self-worth or respect), are also associated with regretting casual sex.

Here's how you can assess your casual sex experience, choose the option that matches closely with your experience of casual sex.

1. I didn't have the chance for casual sex
2. I had the chance, but did not have casual sex
3. I'm glad I did it
4. Neutral – neither glad nor have regrets
5. I regret it somewhat
6. I regret it very much

To conclude, worry, disgust, and experienced pressure are associated with higher likelihood of regretting casual sex. In contrast, sexual gratification, sexual competence, and initiative were all associated with decreased likelihood of casual sexual regret.

In particular, the protective effect of initiative on regret for women has important implications. Women only take the sexual initiative as a proactive sexual strategy that involves partners who they find highly desirable. Else they would not. That explains the gap why more men (twice as much) than women initiate sex. Women are more choosy about who to have sex with (initiating) because of high investment attached to the encounter - evolutionary and lesser prospect of pleasure - sexual gratification - orgasm gap related!

This means, if a woman initiates sex (with a desirable partner), and gets sexual gratification (pleasure and/ or orgasms) from a sexually competent partner experiences no casual sex regret. On the other hand if a woman is approached for casual sex and her pleasure is compromised in casual sex encounter or she has an ongoing worry of being judged, or losing out on a potential high value partner because she has indulged in casual sex (risk to reputation) her regret of casual sex is higher.