Why I hate New Year's (and maybe you do too)

You may already know that January is named after the Roman god Janus who had two faces, one that looked forward and one that looked back. What you may not know is that he was also the god of doors. Yep, you read that right, apparently doors need gods too! Essentially he represented transitions, beginnings & endings, and change.

It feels like this time of year has come to represent an 'all or nothing' approach to personal change with the expectation that we will all commit to our "New Year's Resolutions". Every newsfeed bombards us with a plethora of articles all expounding the "New Year, New You" mantra, inflated this year with the double whammy of not just a New Year, but also a New Decade. Ugh.

It's this media frenzy about how one night is going to transform everything, transform you, transform me that's why I've come to dislike new Year's and in particular New Year's Eve. It's the ultimate in over-promise and under-deliver.

If transformation were important then we'd start anytime, anywhere, not just on some arbitrary date on a calendar. If transformation was important then today, January 6th, we would all still be committed to our New Years Resolutions, instead, if we're honest many of those resolutions already lie languishing in the gutter of forgotten dreams.

Here's a crazy thought - Instead of change and transformation maybe all we need to focus on is smoothing out the edges a little, rounding out the corners. Instead of looking at what's wrong, what we need to change, what if we started from a position of strength? If we took stock of all the things that help us to be successful, that you have been successful because of who you are and what you do, and that you are also successful despite some (bad) habits and things you could or should be better at.

That to me feels more achievable, more realistic than trying to be something I'm not. Forget the '16 Things Exceptional Leaders do Before 4am' the only thing this night owl does before 4am is sleep, and that is not changing. Never. Ever.

This year I've decided to slam the door on all the hoopla and BHAGs (Big Hairy Audacious Goals), and instead open a new door that's based on short term, achievable goals, baby steps that will move me in the direction I want to go.

I'll still read those pesky articles that tell me "20 things for 2020" but it doesn't mean I have to give up being me, or feel overwhelmed by a commitment to be different forever. Instead I'm going to focus on what I can do today. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

• Instead of attempting to become a gym-rat or warrior athlete, today I choose to be active and move for 20 minutes (I finally used my TRX bands!)
• Instead of 'dry January' today I choose to drink more water.
• Instead of jumping in and sharing my ideas I choose to pause and ask 3 questions so that I can learn about others perspective before I share my own.
• Instead of saying "yes" I'm going to practice self-care and practice providing an appropriate "no" so that I can ensure time for dancing, reflection, and learning.

You get the idea. Smaller bites and shorter timeframes allow for new habits to be formed more quickly, for success and momentum to grow.

How about you. If you've already dropped your New Year's Resolutions, I challenge you to pick them up, reframe them. What can you do today to round out your corners, to smooth your edges? Do share your thoughts in the comments below. I'd love to hear from you!