Why people give up?

When we venture into achieving difficult tasks, we most often have to give our best shot into it. There is need of efforts combined with hard work apart from focussed approach to achieve the goal. It is established a majority of the people (read 95%) who pursue success give up just when they are on the threshold of success; not knowing that they are very close to succeeding. Which is why the number of ordinary people far outnumbers those who are wealthy? The ratio is 1:24.. That is one person who is wealthy to every 24 who are ordinary fighting their day-to-day battles of making ends meet. The determination and perseverance makes the difference. 

I recommend a bestseller book to your all, here, : “The greatest salesman in the world” authored by OG Mandino. When I was in Sales and Marketing, my boss gave me a copy 24 years ago and I still cherish this valued copy. In this book Mandino writes : “Failure will never overtake me, if my determination to succeed is strong enough”. This has been my motivational catch phrase ever since.

By listening to the points stated herein may take you on the path of success. But to sustain and be on the road, a guide, mentor or a life coach is very much essential. In this competitive world someone who can hold your hands and show you the way is an invaluable asset. The earlier it is realised in the career, the higher the pinnacle one can rises. If you need help you may always contact me with the contact detail given below.

Now let us see why people give up,

1.      Expecting fast results : Many times one expect fast results and if the results don’t come as fast as the efforts go in, then they are demotivated. One has to perseveringly put efforts with a never-say-die mind set. Everything has its own timelines for success. But, continued and consistent efforts without losing sight of the goal is a very important factor of success.

2.     Stop believing in themselves : We often dis-believe our capabilities and give up too soon. When you go through success stories, people who believed in themselves in difficulties are the ones who have succeeded. Paul Coelho said, “When you want something, the whole world conspires in helping you to achieve it”. Belief itself is a strong psychological factor in humans. And then if you add self-belief, it will do wonders for you.

3.     Get stuck in the past : Do we realize that many times we glance upon the past experiences, when we pursued this goal or any other goal. If our experiences had been bad then we conclude that we are bound to fail. We do not even re-evaluate the present situation which may be different from the past one. We take reference from others close to us who did not make it. Hence we get demotivated. When we encounter a hurdle we refer back to these past experiences and think it is impossible to overcome it. But Why? Yesterday was different, the person then was different from the one who you are now. Then, why shouldn’t the result be different. Your abilities and your thoughts are unmatched to others. So when you focus the possibilities of succeeding and not anything else you will win in the end. The stories of past failures always dominates the matters of our sub-conscious mind. But these have to be taken with a positive bent of thinking.

4.     Dwell on mistakes : Mistakes are of the past. The subconscious mind keeps a record of the mistakes that lead to failures of yourself or your known persons. The inventory of the subconscious would be used to not repeat similar mistakes in your efforts to reach the present goal. Hence one must keep their ears and eyes wide open to the present and focus on the goals by making the mistakes as stepping stones.

5.      Fear the future : One has to remember that future is for them to make out. The present is in their hands and the past is there to guide them. If this realisation is brought about, the future can never be a matter of fear. It will be the one that motivates. Your future is in your hands and how you treat the present determines it. It is worthwhile here to mention the verbatim, “living for day”. Focus on today and do your best and that attitude will take care of your future.

6.     Resist change : Change is constant. From the time of the world’s known history, change has been the constant norm. The change has continuously dominated evolution and every change period that followed the preceding ones were at a rate 10 times faster. The magnanimity of change in the last one decade is equivalent to the one that preceded a century prior to that. So a 1000 years of change is equivalent to that in the last one century itself. Hence there is no point in resisting change. One has to encapsulate it within themselves and aim for their goals.

7.      Give up their power : The human mind possess immense power to achieve anything that they perceive. Here it is worth notable that everything is created in this world twice. Anything is first conceived in the mind and then they are brought into physical existence with human efforts. What is conceived can never be false. Take for example, the kind of communication marvels and space fiction we used to see in Hollywood movies back in 1980s and early 1990s. Not to undermine the James Bond movies and Star Trek and similar shows we cherish now. These were imaginations conceived in the human minds. Now we see those in reality or about to become reality. That is the power of the mind. One must not give up the power of the mind and the brain that causes it.

-       Believe in their weaknesses : As stated earlier, the human mind is programmed to assign importance to negatives and discourage one from moving ahead. Michael Hyatt said, “Courage is the willingness to act in spite of fear”. Friends, I will say that listening to the negatives has not taken anyone anywhere ever towards success. Hence believe in yourself and the power of you and keep aside the weaknesses. There are many examples of those who succeeded in spite of life threatening weaknesses. I have to narrate an exemplary woman athlete who overcame this.

Anju Bobby George was an athlete of fame from India who had won a long jump bronze at the World Athletics Championship, in 2003 in Paris. A couple of years back in 2020, she revealed that she achieved this feat with one kidney, and a host of problems and allergic to pain killers with a dead take off leg. ONE KIDNEY AND A DEAD TAKE OFF LEG, LONG JUMP, UNBELIEVABLE. She said, I quote

 "The general perception of the people is that I have a perfect body. But the fact is that I achieved all the success in my field by overcoming all the difficulties. I hope that sharing of my experience will help motivate all aspiring sportspersons,"

"It was just 20 days ahead of the Paris World Athletics Championship. I overcame all the issues and won a medal in Paris," Unquote

She continues on her Kidney ordeal, and her husband and coach Bobby "It was shocking news for me. But Bobby motivated me to continue my career and achieve success. He even offered his kidney if I face any problem",

"If I had gone public with my health then, the situation would have been different," Unquote. Salute you, Anju Bobby George.

There are innumerable people; you will find who have overcome the challenges posed before them to reach the pinnacle of success. What more proof do you want to realize that you can achieve the insurmountable merely by will power?

8.     Feel the world owes them something : Many times people feels apologetic for not trying. One of the apology is that the world is not perfect for them to try OR the world did not give them something or the other, worth enough for them to try. The world is always cruel and harsh. Ignore it. Do not expect anything in return other than the satisfaction of your personal achievement. Do it for yourself and not for the world. When you succeed in achieving your ambition the worldly pleasures of fame, money, recognition everything follows. Do you know the name of the second person who set his foot on the Moon? Nah. The world celebrates the first successful one.

9.     Fear of failure more than desire of success : As I quoted Mandino earlier that “failure will never overtake me, if my determination to succeed is strong enough”, the determination to succeed comes only when the desire to succeed is high. So high that the fear of failure must not even have a place in your thoughts. Yes, fear is an emotion that holds back everyone. So is desire an emotion. But the negative emotions have more control on our thoughts. Overcome the negative emotions and then your positive emotions take control of your thoughts. Some of the fear factors are like, What if this go wrong? What if I fail? What if I slip from the top? Keep aside these thoughts. Threading the path is your only work. The results follow and will always be good for that which is done with good intentions. The world loves to emulate the successful.

10.    Never visualise what is possible : A vision is a minds picture of something abstract in the future. A vision helps one to stick to the goals and in the course guides ones actions. Hence a vision is a must for succeeding. In order to develop a vision one has to sit back and image the things of the future. Visual picture must enshrine the success itself and then it may include a celebration, recognition, a position or wealth or anything. When you don’t have a vision of the success, then there is confusion and doubts all along the path.

11.    Feel they have something to lose : Many people think that they may have to lose something and tend to give up. Nothing is ever achieved in this world without losing something. If what you are aspiring for is dear to your heart, is your passion, is your dream, then proceed to achieve it. It is never too late. When you have fear to lose something just sit back and do an analysis of what you gain in the process? And if what you lose in the process is worth the journey? If your mind, heart, body and soul conspires towards the journey then it should be worth it. Then take all the steps towards achieving it. But in the process don’t forget your near and dear ones. Tell them what you plan to achieve and what they have to forsake.

12.    Overwork : Many times people overwork themselves and that kills the excitement and the energy required to pursue ambition. Sometimes we see people working hard and putting in late hours for extended periods of time and take long breaks in order to regain the lost energy. This will only act detrimentally to the process. Eventually, one will exhaust themselves and they burn out. Hence, one has to maintain a balance between the efforts and recreation time which will enable the energy levels to be consistent. This way, it helps to sustain the excitement and enthusiasm over longer periods of time in the whole journey. Not to forget that the journey should be a pleasant one worth cherishing.

13.    Assume their problems are unique : Problems are there for all and everywhere. There is no person on this world or a place that has no problems. When this is the case it is overcomplicating the situation for us to assume that the problem occurs to us and it is a unique phenomenon. When one thinks of problems as challenges that are to be overcome then they can surmounted them rather easily. In your journey, remove the word “problem” and substitute it with “challenge”.

14.    See minor set-backs as the signal to turn back : Minor set backs are a part of any journey towards success. That should not deter anyone from getting disheartened, let alone giving up. When you consider set backs as a opportunity to learn then all the issues are addressed.

15.    Feel sorry for themselves : Self pity is another reason people give up. Half way through the journey they lose sight of the bigger picture and begin to have doubts. When you have doubts you pity yourself and ask yourself if all that you are doing is worth it. That is the time you have to fall back on the vision and many of the aspects presented earlier here.

If you are convinced about what is presented here and wish to make your own future, and need help, you may contact me.

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