Why Rejection Was the Kick in the Ass I Didn’t Know I Needed

Since I was a child, I dreamed of being in law enforcement. Every Halloween, I was a cop. I was loud and opinionated but never broke a rule, didn’t touch alcohol until I turned 21, and played by all the rules society sets for “success.” I graduated high school, went to college, majored in Criminal Justice, and applied to every law enforcement agency I could, with NYPD at the top of my list.

I went through the application process three times, scored 96% on the written exam, but failed the oral psychological exam each time. The reasons? I’ll never know. Thinking I needed to make myself more “attractive,” I took out student loans and earned a Master’s in Homeland Security. I pivoted my dream to the FBI, applying with high hopes—but the response was silence.

At that point, I was working full-time as an EMT to gain experience in the 911 system. I applied to countless agencies, yet not one accepted me. It felt personal. I couldn’t understand why my lifelong dream seemed so far out of reach.

Desperate to enhance my chances, I enlisted in the Army at 25 as a Geospatial Intelligence Analyst (35G), thinking this would open doors. For four years, I served actively and tried to transition into CID without success. I applied to the FBI again and passed the written exam, but during the interview process, I had a realization: I didn’t want it anymore.

Sitting in that room with other candidates, all dressed alike, I felt like we were being herded, talked down to, treated as if we were lucky just to be there. In that moment, I stood up, walked out, and did a laugh-cry, ugly face, alone in my car. The dream I had clung to for so long was no longer mine.

I pivoted again, taking a role as an intelligence analyst with JSOC at Ft. Bragg, where I spent three years and deployed multiple times. Working alongside the FBI reaffirmed: this wasn’t for me. Eventually, I left and moved to Charleston, SC, where I was hired as Special Operations Manager at a Consolidated 911 Center. My task was to build an intelligence operations center from scratch. It was exciting—until it wasn’t. The funding fell apart, and I resigned.

Once again, I was lost. No matter how hard I tried to better myself, I faced rejection after rejection. The self-doubt was crushing.

Then, a friend reached out with an opportunity as a Program Staffing Liaison—a recruiter for intelligence contracts. I knew nothing about recruiting and initially resisted. But with nothing to lose, I took the job.

Fast-forward three years: I became the company’s top recruiter, hired over 130 people, and won five awards. Yet, just when I thought I’d found my place, I was laid off. It was devastating. Once again, I was tossed aside.

This time, I decided enough was enough. I wasn’t going to keep playing the game, following rules that left me unfulfilled. Instead, I started my own company: Tier One Talent & Intel Recruiting.

Now, I pour all my experiences—the wins, losses, and lessons—into helping others. I’ve been the person overlooked, undervalued, and discarded. I’ve deployed, missed holidays, and worked roles that left me feeling like an afterthought. But I’ve also learned resilience.

At Tier One, I aim to fix what’s broken in the hiring process. I treat people with respect and help them find roles that fit their goals—whether that’s a steppingstone, a lesson, or a dream job. For the first time, I’m in control of my own story. I choose my clients, my candidates, and my path.

Looking back, none of it made sense while it was happening, but it all brought me here. I’ve learned that not every dream is meant to come true, and sometimes, the unexpected path is exactly where you’re meant to be.

Lessons From My Journey:

1. Trust your gut – if it feels wrong, it is – even if no one else is saying it.

2. Stay true to yourself – even if it means you are less liked or even lose your job. It works out in the end.

3. Silence speaks volumes – it’s deafening if used appropriately.

4. Most of the time you are going to be where you need to be – not where you want to be. When you find both – you’ve made it. See it through.

5. Whatever plan you have – forget it. Most of the time, life has different plans.

6. Trust the process – things are not going to make sense, a lot. But they always work themselves out and it makes sense when you look back.

7. You are not alone; your story and situation are not unique. Use this. Ground yourself and know that somewhere, someone wants to be exactly where you are right now.

8. Life goes on – the company will go on, your coworkers, your friends, even your loved ones. Out of sight, out of mind – that is how we are built. Don’t take it personally, just enjoy it while you still have it.

9. Don’t regret anything – at one point in your life, it was exactly what you wanted. Learn from mistakes, grow, and don’t make them again.

10. You will learn and grow more from your mistakes than your success – be humble. The professional world, as large as it seems, is quite small.

11. Own your mistakes – be accountable and have integrity – the right people will find you.

12. Stop complaining – life is not fair – they lied to you. Just keep moving and get up every time. You are going to start over more than you can even imagine.

13. Stay away from people that have a lot to say but really say nothing all at once.

14. Lean into it – whatever it is. Don’t half-ass something – might as well not do it at all. You have no idea where it will lead or who you will meet when you put your heart into it.

15. Take advice, even if you don’t use it – there is a lot to learn from other people. Choose wisely.

16. Listen to hear – don’t listen to respond.

17. Always work on your communication and emotional intelligence – you will have to cater to your audience but be sure to keep your personality in there.

18. Be a good human being – every day. Every time. No excuses.

19. Balance your life – work is not going to hold you at night, nor will much of the company show up to your funeral.

20. Never sacrifice peace for money or status – you will regret it. It might not be until your deathbed, but you will regret it.

21. Don’t stress so much – easier said than done. If it won’t matter in 1 month from now, leave it alone and move on.

22. Get rid of your ego – in every situation. EVERY. Just do it.

23. If you weren’t invited – don’t ask. If they wanted you there, you would have been invited. Same goes for your opinions.

24. Keep your circle small and don’t talk shit – opinions are hard to resist – call your mom and tell her.

25. Don’t shit where you eat – separate your work and personal life. Trust me, don’t get involved in the drama.

26. When you want to cry or scream – smile. Look at yourself in a mirror, if you can, and smile. It works.