Why They Want to Leave You: No Feedback, Bad Meetings

I've been interviewing people about why they want to leave their jobs. The subject of this interview is in many ways the ideal employee, exactly what a company should seek and foster. Energetic, talented, loves to learn, willing to travel and even relocate to explore a new place. In this case, leaving the Bay Area for Singapore. Yet she finds herself thinking of looking for a new job. Why? 

Currently, she is a player support manager for all of Southeast Asia for a game company. Players need all kinds of support, mostly with technical issues, the ability to get back in a game and making purchases. She was drawn to the position after working for a tech startup that was acquired by Google. 

“I needed a break from Silicon Valley grind and wanted a company that would let me be more creative. I wanted to build the coolest education material and I thought a gaming company would let me. I wanted to learn more about business in APAC and expand my knowledge of customer support.” 

Clarity

She is a firm believer, she said, in setting clear expectations and holding people accountable to them. She is not alone. In a decade of gathering data across industries at Science House, one of our top findings is that workers want more clarity about what their job is, how a company lives its values, and how they can contribute. The name Model Meetings stems from the idea that the way people encounter each other and the company’s values is modeled from the top. Leadership’s function is to make decisions and create a culture of incentives that match the purpose of a company’s existence. Without feedback from managers and leaders, top employees lose interest. There’s a fine line between expecting people to self-direct their work and helping them understand how. This is one of the most challenging and important aspects of management and leadership. Without it, though, top performers will leave. 

“There’s a lack of clarity for what’s expected, and a lack of feedback. Even critical feedback. Do you like my work, do you hate it, what do you want me to change about it? Something I didn’t realize I had on my old team, we had honesty and feedback for each other. It’s exhausting to not know if you’re good at your job,” she said. “I started doubting myself and had awful imposter syndrome. Am I bad at my job? I have to get feedback from customers and peers, not my superiors.”

When she recently submitted a proposal for a plan to purchase market research and evaluate vendors, she went through cycles of grief at the lack of response. 

Bad Meetings

Another problem that makes her want to leave? Bad meetings.

“I could talk about this for hours. I didn’t appreciate how good my meetings were at my old company before this. It’s a systemic problem in this company. Time gets wasted. I am aware of how expensive our meetings are. Being in meetings that don’t have a clear agenda is the most infuriating thing for me professionally. I don’t know what actions are needed from me, if any, at all. Sometimes people schedule meetings to talk at you instead of with you. It could have been an email, I know that’s a huge joke but nine out of ten times, it’s true.”

What made meetings better at her old company?

• Role clarity
• Purpose
• Context
• Clear action items
• Feedback 

“It is often unclear in my new company why I am invited to a meeting. Was I invited because you need work from me? Do you want to tell me something and you don’t know how to tell me? This is my least favorite meeting problem, when someone needs information from only you but they want to make sure everyone hears you say it.” 

Another problem in her global company is decisions get made in meetings when it isn’t clear why or who should be making the decision, and then the outcome impacts a global team. Or the team is gathered and the decision is made in a way that allows decision makers to stave off criticism later by saying “we’re globally aligned because everyone was in the room.” 

During the interview, she revealed that she previously worked for Tony Fadell. I am in the process of studying Tony Fadell, and will write more about him soon. I highly recommend watching General Magic not only to see Tony Fadell's early days, but to explore the tradeoff between what happens when brilliance is left to expand like an uncontrollable universe of possibility vs. the need to pick something and develop it rigorously, setting clear expectations for the team and holding people accountable for outcomes. 

“I’ve been the happiest when I’ve had inspiring leaders,” she said. “I loved working for Tony Faddell. So much of my personal quality bar, I attribute to working for him. He showed me what good really looks like and how to get there no matter what. He’s critical. He’s very critical. But when you work for him you know it’s not about you. He’s criticizing a thing, a project, an outcome. He and Matt Rogers are a perfect pair. The dynamic between the two of them hits a major need across the staff. One is a grounding lighthouse and the other is crazy and fun at work. Tony pinpoints, making it hard to go astray. Matt makes it fun. It makes problem solving so much easier because you can disagree but you know as an employee you’re going in the same direction.”

Do you want to leave your job? Let me know.