Why you really need a coach...

'The dangers of life are infinite, and among them is safety.' -Goethe

Do you have a coach? If not, you could be limiting your career success. That’s because coaches help you identify and focus on what’s important, which accelerates your success.  

If you know your 17th century French history (what? You weren’t listening that class?), then you will have heard of the great statesman Cardinal Richelieu. He famously relied on the advice of Father François Leclerc du Tremblay. He was known as France’s éminence grise, for his gray monk’s habit. Like the famous cardinal, today’s business leaders have their ‘gray eminences’; but the modern coach is not bound by a vow of poverty. Are we worth it? What do we actually do and what is the evidence from those that use coaches that they are effect, efficient and have a high return on investment (ROI).

Forty years ago, no one talked about executive coaching. Twenty years ago, coaching was mainly directed at talented but abrasive executives who were likely to be fired if something didn’t change. Today, coaching is a popular and potent solution for ensuring top performance from an organization’s most critical talent.

Coaching of course is widely used term with various meanings, depending on both the situation and who is involved in the process. The term coaching typically refers to methods of helping others to improve, develop, learn new skills, find personal success, achieve aims and to manage life change and personal challenges. Coaching commonly addresses attitudes, behaviours, and knowledge, as well as skills, and can also focus on physical and spiritual development too.

I trained as a teacher and ascended to the top of my profession. Much of my work was a cross over form of coaching. Now I spend most of time (away from writing books) training; both teaching and training are forms of coaching, normally involving one-to-one support (a coach and the client), aimed at helping a person improve, often in a very practical sense. In this respect it could be said that coaching differs from the training and teaching of groups focused on knowledge transfer and theoretical application.

The derivation of the word coach in the teaching / training / developing context is fascinating. The term ‘coach’, meaning personal private tuition, was probably used as slang by the students of Cambridge University. It was based on the metaphor (and we all love metaphors) that to move from one point to another swiftly you would ride on a coach, (then a horse-drawn coach), which would require the help of a coachman.

Coach was first recorded in the sense of a private tutor in 1848, and in the sense of an athletics coach in 1861. Brewer's 1870 dictionary says, ‘... Coach - A private tutor - the term is a pun on getting on fast. To get on fast you take a coach - you cannot get on fast without a private tutor, ergo, a private tutor is the coach you take in order that you get on quickly (Cambridge University slang)...’

Today we do not think of a coach as a particularly speedy vehicle, so the metaphor (Brewer says pun) seems strange, but in the 1800s a horse-drawn coach was the fastest means of transport available.The Oxford English Dictionary (2005 revised) definition of a coach is:

‘An instructor or trainer in sport. [or] A private tutor who gives extra teaching.’

That said, the term 'coaching' - like 'training' - is very general. Whenever anyone asks me about my job, and what I actually do during any coaching session, I find myself wanting to over elaborate and over explaining the essence of what it is… It seems a simple task but it is a real and profound skill to listen deeply to your client. When was the last time you felt truly listened to? How often in this world of constant talking and no silence do we get a chance to sit with a problem, and to think it through fully?

 Getting a great coach can:

• Create a safe environment in which people see themselves more clearly;
• Identify gaps between where the client is and where the client needs or wants to be
• Ask for more intentional thought, action and behaviour changes than the client would have asked of him or herself
•  Guide the building of the structure, accountability, and support necessary to ensure sustained commitment
• Innovative companies understand that coaching can help career-minded professionals increase their performance at work. They invest in coaching for their senior leaders and high potentials.
• When it comes to building your personal brand, a coach can be a powerful resource who can help you get out of your own way, stand out, and take action to achieve the things that are truly important to you.

In this world of speaking and no listening, when do we have someone who is completely focused on listening to us, not just our words, but also listening at a deeper level to the meaning between the lines, listening to what is unspoken, and listening to the emotions in the midst of the silences? One of the biggest gifts that a coach can offer you is deep listening. In my conversations with my own coach, I am immensely touched by the sacredness of the space in which I am heard.

Putting a ding in their universe. Yes it is a Steve Job’s line – but take it as a challenge - getting the client to consent to being pushed. At times we tend to sink into our comfort zones, it’s not called a comfort zone for nothing! It’s comfortable! We like it. Coaching helps us to get out of our comfort zones, by taking small steps. We want to stretch and flex our skills and muscles, without creating such huge leaps that we end up in the panic zone. If we are not challenged from time to time, we don’t grow.

The Power of Accountability makes it happen. Once we’ve arrived at a point where we know what the next step is, we need to ensure that life doesn’t get in the way, that we don’t lose focus on our goals. As an accountability partner, a coach will help you to break down your goals into achievable pieces and support you in your progress. Accountability partners increase your likelihood of success.

I will be there as a support in the dark times. We all need more support than we think. There’s a reason why most sporting activities have supporters. It helps you go that extra mile and encourages success – small steps to gain confidence. We all need someone who will cheer us on and encourage us. Those that have traumatic events have to acknowledge it will not be plain sailing – there will be dark times or even days. But if a client is in the right frame where they can be coached and are not so traumatised they need to be in therapy (I am not counselor or therapist – I look at outcomes and solutions) then this is part of the promise of coaching.

Get clear about your goals. Your company may be pulling you in one direction, while your manager is giving you different advice based on other criteria. Your coach will help you determine what’s really important to you and help you stay focused on that.

Identify blind spots. Coaches help you figure out what you don’t know, and they clue you in to things you may not be able to see. They will be honest with you because they are not vested in any specific outcome.

Focus your development efforts. Coaches help you know the difference between weaknesses you need to fix and those that are best left as they are. This can help you invest time and energy only in the most fruitful opportunities.

Gain a competitive advantage. A coach can help you get from point a to b faster than you could on your own, helping you differentiate yourself from the pack and advance your career at a quicker clip.

Acquire leadership skills. Coaches model skills that are valuable for today’s leaders. After you work with a coach for a while, you can start to adopt those powerful questioning techniques, which helps you become a better listener. This is just one of the many ways you can integrate a coaching style into your own leadership approach.

Feel happier. Because coaches help you identify and align your values, create a focus, cut through clutter, and clear tolerations, they help you increase your professional fulfilment.

Simply put, a coach will help you stoke your success. How much is that worth to you?You may even be able to get your company to foot the bill. Talk to your manager and/or your talent development staff. They might be willing to invest in coaching for you if you make a good case for it. Also, some leadership development programs come with coaching components. So, sign up for those if you can. It’s a great way to experience coaching.

And if your company chooses not to pay for your coaching, make the investment yourself. It will pay off in clarity, happiness and increased success. Think of coaching as an investment, not an expense.

Be Amazing Every Day

Tim Dingle BSc (Hons), PGCE, MBA, has been involved in education, management and training for the last 30 years. Tim is a former Headmaster of a top school and gained an MBA with a distinction. His dissertation was on body language and interview skills. He has a unique insight into teaching, leadership and management and has now written 26 books on a variety of topics including motivation, leadership, education, training, communication, interview success and business. His background in management also includes being the Chairman of England Schools Rugby and is an active member of the RFU and MCC. His academic pedigree (in Biology, Teaching and Business) combined with his mediation skills, gained him a place on the Board of the Global Negotiation Insight Institute (which used to be the Harvard Negotiation project). He has lectured all around the world with keynote speeches at many national and international events. His facilitation skills are in constant use for difficult and complex problems. His work in the hospitality sector is making a massive impact and he is dedicated to making everyone feel empowered, successful and making training fun. He is a speaker, trainer, coach and mentor: inspiring people to be amazing every day.