Win the Day: Turning Failure Into Greatness On Your Gameboard

Win The Day

Be the indispensable leader your company looks to in high-stakes challenges.

Uncertainty triggers a cognitive battle in the minds of leaders.

In moments of uncertainty, your mind becomes a battlefield. Old rules no longer apply, but new ones aren’t clear. You're left second-guessing every decision, unsure if you’re moving toward success or closer to failure.

How do you become an indispensable leader?

By being the best, most adaptive version of yourself.

Have you ever found yourself at a pivotal moment where everything was at stake—and it didn't go your way?

Perhaps you missed that critical shot, the project you banked on crumbled at the last minute, or you were left reeling under the weight of expectations as success slipped through your fingers.

Failure hurts. It can rattle your confidence, make you question your capabilities, and sometimes feel like a setback you can't bounce back from.

It appears in various guises—rejection when you're overlooked despite your performance, or an unfair scenario where your best efforts don’t seem to make a dent.

Uncertainty disrupts the decision-making process, creating confusion and hesitation.

But what if these moments of defeat, these points of uncertainty are actually your launchpad for rewriting the rules and flipping the game on its head?

And to be clear, winning the day is not always about bouncing back.

First Adapters are those leaders and entrepreneurs who are ready when the moment arises. They thrive on uncertainty, always staying one step ahead by spotting patterns others miss. And they are quick to see what’s coming and rapidly adapt.

They are anti-fragile. Put me in the coach.

They want in the game.

To play big.

In high-stakes challenges, winning the day is bringing the best, most adaptive version of yourself to be the indispensable leader your company looks to for greatness.

Let’s see how to do this.

The Truth Every Leader Faces: Turning Adversity into Advantage

Every leader encounters failure, rejection, and obstacles. However, Winning The Day isn’t about avoiding these pitfalls but how you respond to them, and to play big when the moment arises.

First adapters harness failure as a catalyst to reshape your approach, take bold steps, and achieve exceptional outcomes when it counts the most.

So, what's your move when failure strikes? Do you let it derail your future, or do you see it as a pivotal challenge—a chance to master the gameboard and seize control?

For First Adapters—those elite leaders adept at navigating uncertainty—failure is not a stop sign but a strategy session.

Whether it’s facing down pressure, handling rejection, or maneuvering through an unfair game, they use these experiences as foundational steps towards greatness. Mastering your reaction to these challenging moments turns adversity into a winning advantage.

Winning Starts Long Before the High-Stakes Moment

Winning the day begins with a commitment to master the gameboard and play to win, not just to participate. This frame of mind shift is crucial in transforming rejection, setbacks, and doubts into defining moments of victory.

Which Gameboard Are You Playing On?

Understanding your current position in the game is crucial. The gameboard you navigate defines not only your strategies but also the potential for your success.

Here are the four levels of gameboards (in the image):

1. The Diminishing Game: Dominated by fear and hesitation, this level keeps you reactive and constrained, where uncertainty rules your decisions and outcomes.
2. Live the Struggle Game: Here, you're pushing hard, relying on sheer effort and reactive decisions to advance. It’s progress, although exhausting and fraught with frustration.
3. The Good Enough Game: Things seem okay; you manage challenges adequately and maintain the status quo. It feels safe, yet deep down, you know you’re capable of more—this often hidden complacency limits your true upside.
4. Master the Game: This is where First Adapters play. They harness uncertainty, craft their strategic edge, and excel under pressure. They are the game changers who don’t just survive the game—they redefine it.

Those stuck in "Live the Struggle" often find the motivation to reach "Master the Game." Frustration fuels their desire to overcome limitations.

In contrast, and often surprising, are those in "The Good Enough Game" who may remain too complacent and comfortable to risk striving for true greatness.

Which gameboard do you play on?

Which do you want to play on?

Indispensable leaders master the game.

The Rejection That Sparks Transformation

It was a sunny Saturday morning at the ballpark. As usual, a group of us gathered to play baseball. Captains started picking teams—names were called one by one. My name wasn’t among them.

“That’s fine,” I tried to think positively. “I’ll get picked for the next game.” But the same thing happened again. And again. Hours passed. It came down to me and another kid, one I knew wasn’t as good as I was. I stood there, glove in hand, waiting for my name to be called. It wasn’t.

I stomped home, my blood boiling. The unfairness burned in my chest. “Why didn’t they pick me?” I fumed. “I’m better than this.” The rejection cut deep, but it ignited something even deeper—a refusal to accept this as my story.

That afternoon, I worked out with relentless focus: push-ups, sit-ups, anything to channel my frustration. I made a decision: this would never happen to me again.

By early evening, I was back on another field, ready for a new game. When I was picked this time, I didn’t just play—I dominated. From the crack of the bat - doubles and triples- to the snap of the ball in my throws, every move was fueled by my decision. Exceptional performance.

That rejection wasn’t the end of my story. It was a defining moment, a turning point in mastering my game.

The Rejection Decision: Lessons from Champions

Great athletes and leaders know this well: a significant rejection can lead to extraordinary determination. Michael Jordan, famously cut from his high school basketball team, used that rejection as fuel to become one of the greatest in his sport.

First Adapters understand that rejection is not an endpoint but a unique opportunity to reassess, recalibrate, and reengage with even greater resolve. They see every setback as a chance to innovate, strategize, and emerge stronger.

The rejection decision, the pivotal moment in almost every great athlete and top performer’s life, is to never let it happen again.

Unlock Your Defining Moment: An Exercise for Readers

Everyone has a defining moment—a time when they were challenged, rejected, or doubted. It could have happened as a ten-year-old or teenager, or perhaps as an adult. These moments hold the potential to reshape how you approach the gameboard of life.

Use this exercise to uncover your own defining moment and turn it into a story of triumph:

1. Recall the Moment: Think of a time you weren’t chosen, failed, or faced a significant setback. Write down the details: Where were you? Who was involved? How did you feel?

• Example: "I didn’t get the promotion I was counting on. Watching someone else take the role felt humiliating."

2. Identify Your Initial Reaction: What emotions did you experience? Did you feel frustrated, rejected, or uncertain about your next steps?

• Example: "I felt angry and ashamed, questioning whether I had what it took to lead at a higher level."

3. Spot the Turning Point: What decision or action did you take after the rejection? How did it set the stage for your next move?

• Example: "I committed to developing my skills, getting a mentor, and making myself indispensable in my next role."

4. Describe the Transformation: How did this moment shape who you are today? What did you learn, and how do you apply it now?

• Example: "That rejection taught me to see challenges as opportunities. To play big and win the day. Today, I take bold, strategic action without fear of failure."

Your Challenge: Write your story and reflect on how it has shaped your ability to win the day. Perhaps you didn’t recognize it as a defining moment and now you are reconsidering what you learned from a failure. Now apply your insight to play big and win the day on your current challenge.

Share it with a mentor or trusted peer to explore new ways to master your gameboard.

Strategic Math: Gaming out the Winning Move

First Adapters know that to win the day, you must be able to handle the threats you face – both within yourself and on your gameboard.

You must see the game and outmaneuver your competitors. You must be able to game out both your strengths and weaknesses and the competitor.

I call this doing the strategic math

You imagine possible scenarios in advance and consider your options.

For example, imagine preparing for a major presentation.

Doing the strategic math means asking: ‘What are the key dynamics at play? Where are the opportunities and threats? How can I position myself or my team to win?’

Or consider preparing for a major negotiation—you assess not just your position, but anticipate the counterarguments, align your messaging with stakeholder priorities, and ensure you’re one step ahead.

Winning the day isn’t just about resilience and recovering from a failure or rejection, it’s having foresight. You have to be strategic, one step ahead, anticipating the moves, bulletproof.

First Adapters win the day by outthinking, outmaneuvering and outperforming.

Just as the ‘We Try Harder’ Avis campaign did against Hertz. In their case, gaming out the scenarios led them to have the insight that would win the day.

I coached a group of 12-year-old girls on a basketball team. We were in the running for the best in the league. But we had one more team to prove how good we really were. A rival team, coached by the best women’s high school basketball team.

We needed to be anti-fragile, meaning to handle whatever came our way. So I asked the parents - both Moms and Dads - who were watching practice to come and play against their daughters.

“Don’t make it easy on them. Don’t make it impossible. But we need the challenge.”

It amused and then frustrated the girls. And as we practiced they got better and were well prepared to play big against the best.

To win your day, make a list of the top decisions you must make in your current challenge.

Now game out the possibilities on your gameboard.

Make sure you consider the unlikely to occur. Just make a list of the unlikely events, it’s like building an insurance policy for the unlikely events.

Ask yourself, ‘How can you still position yourself to win the day?’

Win the Day: Transforming Your Nerves

One of the decisions you must make is about playing big in a big situation. You must be durable. You won’t have all the information, there will be uncertainty. Understanding what your weakness is will reduce your blind spot and increase your bulletproofing and anti-fragility.

When Steph Curry, arguably the greatest basketball shooter of all time, comes to the foul line with 1 second left he is smiling. How?

Steph has great vagal tone control of his nerves. He is fully aware of the magnitude of the shot. He also knows he has practiced this shot thousands of times. He has procedural memory, commonly referred to as muscle memory. But it's his vagal nerves that enable him to be calm and present under enormous pressure.

You may not be a sports fan, or play sports, but as a leader, you give speeches that arguably are as threatening to most people as jumping out of a plane. You have to make big resource decisions that determine if your business survives or is shut down.

The vagus nerve controls your fight, flight and freeze responses. It’s the braking system when your nerves get unnerved. The parasympathetic system calms and restores your balance.

It used to be believed we couldn’t affect our unconscious responses. But there are at least two ways to regain your brainpower. Breath and Sound.

The Navy Seals practice box breathing to calm their nerves, to strengthen their vagal tone.

One form is breathing into the count of 4 and holding for the count of 4 and breathing out to the count of 4 and holding to the count of 4. You can imagine a box, each side is a count of four.

There are several variations, including breathing into a count of 4 and out to a count of 8 and repeating that rhythm. Getting into a rhythm makes the difference. Find the one that fits you. Practice it before you need it.

The other way to influence your nerves is through music, more specifically sound. Athletes pump themselves up with their music selection. You can also listen and even hum sounds to calm you. The concert pianist plays the piece in her mind before the performance. I would suggest you hum, or listen to sounds and frequencies that impact your nerves.

To begin with, break the nervous pattern, simply hum and notice its effects on you. Hum for a few minutes. It won’t change the outer game, but it will affect your inner game.

Mind power, breathing, and sound will all strengthen your guts and vagal tone.

As a freshman in college, far away from home I was nervous when my first big four tests were scheduled within two days. I studied but still didn’t feel prepared and my mind was getting the best of my nerves. I spoke with my Dad by phone.

My Dad asked, “Who is your favorite baseball player?”

“Mickey Mantle, but what does that have to do with my tests?

“Who in baseball has the most home runs, most hits, most doubles, triples and walks?

“Mickey, but Dad I don’t understand what you are talking about.”

“And Mantle led the majors in one other statistic, do you know what it is?”

Now even more frustrated, “What?”

“Strike Outs! He struck out more than any other player.

But Mickey is willing to come to the plate and take his swings.

Take your swings slugger.

My Dad taught me to do the strategic math on the gameboard and to play big, expect the best.

To Win the Day, it’s time to Master your game.

Move beyond the Diminishing Game, Living the Struggle Game, and even the Good Enough Game:

1) Turn failure into defining moments,

2) Use strategic math to anticipate and outmaneuver, and

3) Strengthen vagal tone to stay calm and focused under pressure.

Ready to Master Your Gameboard?

If you’re ready to win the day, to bring your best self to the big challenge, to be the indispensable leader your company looks to, let’s get together to outthink, outmaneuver and outperform on your gameboard of leadership.

Don’t just play the game—win it by mastering the art of turning every challenge into a triumph.

About Steven Feinberg, PhD

Steven Feinberg, PhD., is a distinguished Neurostrategist, Executive Coach, and High Performance Team Builder, renowned for enhancing the capabilities of some of America's sharpest and smartest brains and businesses. His current work is on Mastering Your Game: unlocking the hidden game of patterns to excel. With an extensive portfolio of work with CEOs, senior executives, and business founders, he has contributed to the success of organizations ranging from billion-dollar Corporate 500s to vibrant entrepreneurial startups, including notable brands such as Apple, Nvidia, Google, Oracle, LinkedIn, Wells Fargo, and Xero, ranked the Number 1 innovation startup.

For over three decades, Dr. Feinberg also served as an adjunct faculty member at the University of San Francisco School of Management. Steven guest lectured at prestigious institutions like Stanford and Cal Poly. He is the author of the highly acclaimed Amazon bestsellers, "The Advantage-Makers” and "Do What Others Say Can’t Be Done: Play The Meta-Game”

With more than 40 years of direct experience in high-pressure, high-stakes business environments. Dr. Feinberg specializes in Mastering Your Game, to excel by transforming uncertainty into opportunities for high-velocity advancement, achieving remarkable impact for both individuals and teams.