You Are Already Whole And Complete

Last month I wrote that our personal evolution eventually causes us to remember our Divine nature and that our path becomes one of integration. The saying, “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts” is as true for our personal integration as it is for any other scenario – philosophical, scientific, or otherwise.

When we actively integrate these two seemingly disparate aspects – the human being and the spiritual being – we make ourselves whole and complete. We stop negating the soul and we remember our deep, multidimensional nature.

But wait, maybe you didn’t realize you weren’t whole and complete! If you’re journeying with us in Rising Phoenix, it’s more likely that you woke up to the façade that ego created about what constituted being complete. It was some version of a material goal, accolade, or external accomplishment… but even when that was achieved no sense of wholeness ensued. There was, and is, always something more to get (says the ego).

Even though the ego does its best to create a controllable reality and a sense of safety, most of us have had a vague feeling something was missing, but couldn’t quite articulate what that meant, or put a finger on a hard definition of it. So, we soldiered on thinking either we’d get it, get over it, or that it didn’t matter; we stuffed the thought away while the sensation lingered. I invite you to self-reflect: When have you felt incomplete? Have you felt something was missing? How have you sought to attain wholeness? Where did you find answers and were they permanent, or fleeting?

When we turn within, we find the answers, as well as the deeper questions that drive our growth. We also find that we have many aspects of our identity – parts, pieces, and personalities – some of which we’ve deemed acceptable, others that we’ve rejected. Almost always, these fragments of ‘self’ are at odds with the deeper sense of Self, and with one another.

The human aspect is as fragmented as the spiritual aspect is forgotten.

When we integrate the pieces and parts of ourselves that we thought weren’t acceptable, that we suppressed, hid from view, or talked ourselves out of, we give ourselves the ultimate gift of self-love. We become the ‘one we’ve been waiting for’.

So, what does integration look like? How do you ‘do’ integration?

Let’s begin with the definition of the word. To integrate means to form, coordinate, or blend into a functioning or unified whole (Merriam-Webster). To integrate means to bring together; to unite. Take a moment to reflect on what the word ‘unite’ means to you. What visual examples or stories pop into your mind’s eye? What does ‘being united’ feel like?

I feel strength, trust, a sense of support, and confidence. I am powerful, i.e. full of power! To be united means that I can trust myself. I don’t need to seek external validation or answers. ‘United’ means I am no longer seeking anything outside myself. What was lost is now found. A joyful reunion. Acceptance.

Now, let’s examine integration’s opposite: segregation. Segregation is the action or state of setting someone or something apart from other people or things or being set apart (Oxford). What happens when we set something apart or separate it? What is the purpose of setting things apart? Reflect on why you would segregate parts of yourself. The saying, “out of sight, out of mind” comes up, and so does the notion of protecting oneself from being hurt in some way. How often have you suppressed a part of yourself to be accepted by someone or something else? How did that turn out, long-term? And how did that feel?

My Integration

In my own life, I’ve integrated the spiritual Self that came online when my outer identity fell apart and catapulted me into complete disarray. For most of my adult life, I functioned in a construct of being a successful professional, entrepreneur, and executive. Since childhood, I sought academic and career achievement to attain approval: my parents’ first, then my teachers’, then society’s, then from those around me, and so on. Eventually, that became the ‘me’ that I would present as acceptable. Any sign of woo or weakness was quickly quashed, or so I thought.  

I left my career at a pinnacle position as the construct of my identity unraveled; I was in an awakening process precipitated by burnout. I had no idea what was happening to me! After many months of the dark night process, I saw how much I had repressed, including unacknowledged qualities like empathy, artistry, and a hella strong intuition. As I became acquainted with my soul – this completely different dimension of my being that felt like a long-lost friend, I thought spiritual me couldn’t operate in the professional sphere and I had to abandon business because I had “gotten it all wrong”. The truth does hurt, at first.

But the truth isn’t linear, and it certainly isn’t an either/or proposition. I learned the practice of self-forgiveness as I released shame, guilt, and criticism that I had carried for so long. As I started to understand both my spiritual nature and the multitude of gifts I could access because of my newfound self-acceptance, I knew that part of my human calling is to be in the business world. So, I went back.

It was clunky at first because I tried to keep the spiritual separate from the businessperson, but that was exhausting and inefficient. It was also impossible; there is no way that you can hide the shining light that wants to help others break out of their own darkness. I can do that by simply being myself, whether that’s through the vehicle of my investing business, or through other means like hosting moon circles, transformational speaking, or writing, as I’m doing here. What’s the difference? Just the medium, not the Being or the mission!

The endgame is the same: total freedom to be all of myself.

When we are whole, complete, and unified within, we become powerful, conscious creators of our own lives.

We can dismantle negative beliefs, false narratives, and constructs that have bound us in fear and limitation. We find desires, dreams, aspirations. We rekindle our creativity and imagination. We believe in ourselves first. We can express ourselves more authentically without fear of judgment. We stop worrying about what someone else thinks because we honor 100% of who we are.

Integration is the simple act of accepting ourselves and unapologetically showing up as the sum of all our parts. Integration is the active process of forgiving the parts that shamed the other parts and gently bringing all of them back online (without holding a grudge against the ego). Integration looks like a lot of compassion, sounds like a lot of positive self-talk, and feels like a lot of self-love. Integration is self-unification, which encourages the expression of our authentic essence.

Integration is the living embodiment of the both/and principle. We are both spirit and matter. We are both Human and Divine, and we own it no matter what we’re doing.

*This article was written for, and published in Rising Phoenix magazine, April 2021.