You do you: Stop trying so hard to be 'more authentic' on social

I’m going to be honest, this one has been rattling around in my head for a couple of weeks. 

It started when someone reached out to me on LinkedIn and said ‘I need to be more authentic on social media. How can I do that?’

I paused. Hunh. Good question. To me, being genuine is something you are, not something you do. I think it’s a little like Tom Petty cool.

There’s not a day in his life Tom Petty worked to be cool. In fact, the more you work to be cool, the less you are. (Trust me, my years at Aurora High School proved that loud and clear). 

Tom Petty (Rest in Peace) was just…. Cool. He didn’t try. He just showed up.

But there’s more to that than when it comes to being genuinely you, isn’t there? 

And that’s why I’ve been chewing on this one. And you know what? I think this might be a gift (perhaps the only gift) of this two-year pandemic.

The pandemic forced us to just show up

The dog walks through the room. The cat stomps across the keyboard. Sometimes there’s makeup, sometimes there’s not. Sometimes there are pyjama pants involved. More often there are yoga pants.

Let’s face it, for those of us working from home and living on zoom calls, we’ve gotten more comfortable just being… us. And that authenticity shift has happened on our social channels too. 

The easiest place to see this shift? Right here, on LinkedIn. 

My pre-pandemic LinkedIn feed was all ‘I got this new job!’ It was filled with self promotion, and career updates. It’s great to know where former and current colleagues are headed next, don’t get me wrong.

But something happened in that first year of the pandemic. We were scared together. So much of the pandemic was a shared experience.

I started seeing posts from parents balancing working from home with home schooling. People who lost loved ones, or who were watched loved ones get sick - or got sick themselves.

People who didn't want to leave their homes. People who, like us, were frantically washing all the groceries (even cereal boxes with bleach) before putting them away. We had no idea how this virus was transmitted, and we weren't taking any chances.

People talked about being laid off with 300 others on a zoom call. (My husband was a zoom layoff, sadly.)

The collective theme on LinkedIn was - and now is - “Guys, this is hard.” 

The pandemic made it okay to not be glossy. To be vulnerable. To be fricking human. To just…. be ourselves. To just show up.

Vulnerability in just showing up as ourselves is what allows us to connect. Brene Brown has said that to be authentic, we must cultivate the courage to be imperfect—and vulnerable. I fully agree. And that’s why it works on social media.

But authenticity isn’t just about being uber real. I could tell you how much it drives me around the bend when someone leaves an empty toilet roll on the dispenser. You might relate to that, you might not. 

Authenticity matters for brands too

 We are attracted to authenticity in people who act out their values. They show up for what matters to them. This is also why we attach ourselves to brands.

There’s a lot of communications from businesses around inclusivity, diversity and equity. I’m so excited by this - it speaks to my personal values. 

But I wish I saw as much walk as talk in this space. People - and brands - have to be real.

You can say these are a part of your corporate values, but what are you doing to change the system? Are you owning up to how your own systems might be flawed? 

Show me the dirt under the rug, and how you’re working to clean it up. Be vulnerable to criticism. Own your mistakes. Listen to your critics. There's a truth that's hard to hear, but that can teach you so much. That authenticity, and that ‘humanness’ will drive a connection.

Final thought: consider what being authentic can do for you

It’s hard to put on polish all the time. And studies are now proving that authenticity is better for our wellbeing. 

In a study reported in the October 2020 edition of Nature, Columbia researchers analyzed the data of 10,560 Facebook users, and found that individuals who are more authentic in their self-expression also report greater Life Satisfaction. This effect appeared consistently in their research across different personality profiles, countering the proposition that individuals with socially desirable personalities benefit from authentic self-expression more than others. 

So go ahead, you be you. Especially when you’re Runnin’ Down a Dream.