Are You in a Healthy Relationship?

Today, relationships of all types — from marriages to business partnerships — are crumbling under the weight of what they're "supposed" to be. I recently sat down with renowned marriage and family therapist Dené Logan who noted that the strongest relationships embody a core set of values.

Here are some tips to help you live those values — and strengthen the most important relationships in your life...

1. Open and honest communication.

The foundation of any strong relationship is communication. Be open about your feelings, desires, and concerns. Instead of making assumptions, ask questions and really listen to your partner. This will not only prevent misunderstandings but also bring you closer together.

I have a rule in my marriage and business partnerships: "Never let a significant thought go unsaid." What you're thinking mightn't be the truth — in fact, it might be the complete opposite of the truth — but if that thought is trapped in your head and allowed to fester, it will impact your relationships.

Bringing it out into the open in a well-intentioned and non-judgemental manner will allow for important perspectives to be provided, usually removing the burden of that thought from your mind and preventing it from snowballing into a serious issue.

2. Set your own relationship standards.

Do you really believe everything you see on social media? Most of it is a complete facade from insecure people who crave your attention.

Instead, forget about societal norms or what others expect from you. Create your own goals, rituals, and rules that make sense for you and your partner. Whether it's how you spend your weekends, raise your kids, or handle conflicts, the key is to ensure both of you feel valued and understood.

3. Embrace change together.

One of my favorite quotes is "Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine." While I don't think many people use cash at vending machines these days, the sentiment still stands!

Every part of your life will change with time. That is especially true when you introduce kids into the mix. Rather than resist, lean into that change.

Respect your partner for where they're at in their journey; run your own race knowing that leading by example can provide important inspiration when your partner is ready to receive it; and enjoy all that a new phase might bring, no matter how stressful it feels in the present.

In fact, Dené said: "If we're in a relationship with the same person for a lifetime, we will be in a relationship with at least six different people with that same person. Don't put too much pressure on one person to be your entire world. Allow them to change, as they're meant to."

I love that sentiment.

Ultimately, a relationship is dependent on what each person brings to it. By being open, authentic, and supportive, you can ensure that your relationships grow stronger over time.

Remember, the metric of success in a healthy relationship is not the attention you get on social media, but how loved and respected each of you feel. Never forget it.

Onward,

James

PS - If you run your own business and want to strengthen your most important relationships, join me and some special friends this September at the 2024 Win the Day Mastermind in Los Angeles, California. Strictly limited to 40 people and only 5 seats remaining.