Do you struggle to rise above any personal or professional challenges that come your way? Maybe you’ve gone from having plenty of money and a big house to living from paycheck to paycheck in a small apartment. Or perhaps you’ve experienced the loss of a great job that devastated you but you’ve been able to bounce back and continue to live the life of your dreams.
However, if you find yourself feeling stuck looking back wistfully to earlier years, and wishing things could have remained “that way,” you’re probably living in the past.
If you notice you still suffer a lot of emotional pain or distress over an upsetting event you experienced long ago, you might be stuck in your history and unable to move forward.
Although some would argue, “What’s so bad about living in the past?,” the fact is that doing so means the present—your reality—is flying by without you grabbing on to it to move forward and achieve your life aspirations.
You might be living in the past if:
- You think every day about some aspect of how your life used to be. Maybe you call it “nostalgia” or simple yearnings for what your life was like before. Reflecting daily on the past is not a ‘bad” thing, but too much focus on what used to be can get in the way of moving forward to your new beginnings.
- You try to sleep as much as possible so you can dream about earlier years. When you sleep at night, your dreams become fantasies about how your life was before. You look forward to those dreams.
- You spend a lot of time on the computer, tablet or phone. Being on your devices all the time keeps you busy and you don’t have to think about how your life has changed – especially if you’re constantly reviewing old photos on the device or on social media.
- You use other methods to “escape” from your reality, like reading, cleaning, or even drinking alcohol. Perhaps you’re constantly in motion and doing something so you don’t have to face life as it is now.
- You’re in denial about your current living situation. It’s hard to accept that you no longer have a partner or live in the home you thought you would for the rest of your life. Maybe you don’t want to rearrange the furniture or get rid of some things you don’t use because they remind you of a person who’s no longer in your life.
If you see yourself in these points, you’re living in the past. Examine the following steps to get started living in the present.
Start Living in the Here and Now
Now that you’ve identified the issue(s), it’s time to re-connect with yourself and move forward to create a fulfilling life. Here are some suggestions:
- Openly acknowledge to yourself what you’ve been doing. The first step toward healing is acknowledging the error of your ways. “I’ve been living in the past and I want to stop doing that immediately by taking control of my future.”
- Decide what you must do to shift into the present. Do you need to find a new job, clean out closets, get rid of old possessions, and maybe even move your residence? Sometimes, moving forward in your life literally means moving out or on.
- Focus on your personal and professional goals. Identify and make a plan you can follow to actively pursue and achieve your goals. What is specifically needed for you to begin this journey? Do you need more education, training, new relationships, new surroundings?
- Take care of yourself. Face yourself in the mirror. Take excellent care of your mental, physical and emotional self. Re-focus your efforts on the current state of your being and commit yourself to taking actions that directly impact your wellbeing.
- Vow to practice special efforts with your feelings. Work to gain understanding of your feelings. Allow yourself to grieve who or what you’ve lost if you need to. Put those feelings in a special place in your existence and learn to draw upon them when needed, but not allow them to be an inhibitor to your forward progress.
- Contact professionals if needed. Seek out medical care if you’ve overlooked doing that these past years. Have an annual check-up. If you require psychological assistance to get things in perspective, contact your local mental health center or ask your general physician for a referral to a counselor. If you feel stuck professionally, working with a coach can be a helpful resource.
- Waste no more time. Be in awe of each day. You can do something positive with every 24-hour period. Start immediately.
Living in the past robs you of the life you truly deserve. Re-state your goals to yourself, focus on your present circumstances and work towards creating a fulfilling future. By letting go of the past and embracing the present, you can open yourself up to new possibilities and experiences that will shape your life in a positive way. This is especially important for Dallas Cowboys fans! GO EAGLES!
If any of this resonates with where you are in your life, let’s talk about it! Use this link to schedule a FREE 15-minute coaching consultation and let’s co-create your future together.
#personalgrowth #letgo #embracechange #maketodaycount #careercoachDJA
