You lose friends as you grow up

First day of school all scared and anxious to discover this new environment, walking through the hallways it feels so intimidating, knowing nobody nor any locations, trying to make my way to where I’m supposed to be. I see people moving around, chatting and laughing with each other and yet I know nobody, desperately trying to find a familiar face but nothing. I finally make it to the classroom I’m supposed to be, quickly look for a sit and the friendly gesture of a total stranger comforts me, instantly this person becomes my beacon and together we form a bond. Out of a random gesture I made a friend, as time passes by the nature of each person takes shape through their words and quickly, I’m able to identify the persons I’m going to be close to. A couple of months later, I now have friends, people I laugh with, play and literally do everything with, these are possibly the most important persons in my life after family and I really don’t see myself living without them, we bond and build memories together and for quite a while it feels like nothing can separate us from each other.

Time flies by and we are on graduation day, we try to make it the most memorable day of our lives by doing the craziest things we possibly and legally can while nourishing the hopes this won’t mark a breaking point in our relationship. Quickly, we shift to different interests and objectives and before we even realize it, we are on different paths. Slowly but surely, the conversations become scarce, we have fewer things to talk about and can only indulge in the memories which are slowly been replaced by new ones with new persons, despite our shared desire to keep our friendship alive, time and distance do their job of taking us apart. We still believe we are friends, we are close, but novelty super seeds quickly whatever was to the extent we feel like it never was.

Drifting apart

It doesn’t need to be intentional but trying to stay close takes much more intent the more time passes by, before we were certain to meet every single day but this time around we are certain not to, so to ensure that the friendship lasts we need to make every single contact intentional, which can be very difficult especially when we’ve both got other things to do and our timetables might not always align. Fortunately, with some synchronization we can plan out dates and calls which really goes a long way to keep the bond alive, but since the brain always likes the easy way out, it feels easier to just transfer those emotions to new persons who are readily available and close by, so we eventually drift apart, falling in love with new persons and building even stronger bonds with these persons. It’s inevitable and trying to prevent it just proves all the more difficult, might work for a while but really it takes a lot from both sides, much more than anyone can provide so we eventually let go and accept the reality, good things sometimes come to an end.

Emotions evolve

We met at a point in time when I still had some immature emotions, there wasn’t much I wanted out of a friendship and to be frank, I didn’t even know what I wanted, anything at that point could easily do the trick, so with time my emotions matured and I’ve become much more conscious about all the things I expect and wish from my acquaintances that’s why I can’t easily settle but with the competition I now have the chance to choose who I want to ride with or not. I couldn’t even say I understood my emotions at that moment, talkless of even having the choice of friends, I went with what was in my reach and even though I’m not saying I regret it, I’m saying my emotions aren’t the same anymore so obviously I see things differently. I say this without even mentioning that its not like I have a choice, our friendship just couldn’t stand the test of time and distance

Time and distance do a great job of separating us

Being far apart from a person makes it very difficult to keep the bond you have with such a person, be it a friend, family or even a loved one. This is just a fact and not me just saying it, think about all the relatives you’ve lost contact with because they are away, its only when there is a direct interest which brings you both together, that’s when there is the incentive to keep the communication going but when everything which unites you is optional then It’s very difficult to keep in touch, you might have a few conversations here and there but generally, you are out of touch with each other. So if something like this can happen with family relatives, then how much more for a friendship where you barely know the persons for a couple of years. Not only distance but time too, the longer the intervals of discussions you have, the easier your relationship drifts into memories to the point where you are just longtime friends who met in school and considering that there are no imperative ties between you, there is nothing binding you to one another.

Conclusion

It’s definitely possible to make a lifelong friend, I’m not suggesting that you can’t have friends who will be with you for the rest of your life but I want you to understand that you’ll have to work to ensure that, else they’ll naturally just drift away. I’ve had a couple of friends which you could qualify as my “best friends”, we didn’t have a fall-out but when one side wasn’t putting in the effort and interest like the other, it naturally had to come to an end, despite my best wishes. Try as much to keep the connection alive, build memories even kilometers apart, ensure to meet as often as possible and keep working on things together, that should at least keep your friendship a good one.