You think you don't need to think about it.
I never thought about organising a funeral. Until I walked with my mum to organise my dad's farewell. I had no idea. None. I was overwhelmed by how cold the funeral home handled the affair, aka business transaction.
Everything was about money. The size of my dad's body, which determined the size of the coffin. What flowers, how many, how big. Will there be a viewing? A condolences line? Would you like fries with that? Oh, sorry, wrong business.
We sat through the list of tick boxes. My heart cracked a little further with each question.
Have you ever watched the musical "Hair"? If you have, you would be familiar with the scene, where Lafayette's wife sings to him "Easy to be Hard". This song goes under my skin every time. It's the very song that comes to mind when I think about this scene in the funeral home in 1992 in Vienna. It was cold. It felt cruel. This was my dad we were talking about here. Not a body.
Look, I understand that when you are confronted with the topic of death on a daily basis, that you have to learn how to energetically and mentally protect yourself.
Yet, if you can't have compassion, you shouldn't be working in the death industry at all.
When I arranged the funeral for my husband, I looked at 2 funeral homes within 2 days.
The first one I chose to look at, as it was in the suburb where my husband grew up - yet when I walked in for our appointment, I was overwhelmed by the darkness of the place and the heaviness I felt while we were there. It was an instant NO.
The second one, polar opposite: light, warm, friendly - I immediately felt welcomed and taken care of. What saddened me came almost a year later, when I asked for a meeting and shared about the difference I was starting to make in the space of grief - and what amazing results my clients were getting from the healing journeys I offered.
I suggested that we could offer an aftercare package to their clients. The answer surprised me: "We have our own people who do that!" Really? So, why didn't I get any support offered then, after my husband passed? After they had their money, the compassion was over. And that shocked me, more than I was prepared for. Here it was again: the coldness.
And then I met Kate. Kate Morgan is the Founder of Tomorrow Funerals. It took less than 5 minutes to realise the alignment we both have. The care factor is certainly on the same level! What I love about Tomorrow Funerals, just to name a few:
Following my first conversation with Kate, I booked my flights to meet her in person. I knew I wanted to join Tomorrow Funerals. And thinking of how much guidance I felt since my husband passed, I can easily call it "a match made in heaven"! A collaboration was born that day in Melbourne... and I am delighted to be offering Celebrations of Life with "Tomorrow Funerals" in Sydney from hereon in.
So, if you know of anyone having to go through this process, please know that there is a lot more support available than I ever had when planning those 2 funerals, 26 years apart.
We need Love and support - in particular when planning a funeral for a loved one. Allow us to help you celebrate their lives, and give their story the ending it deserves.
With Love
Marie