Is your mind your servant or master?

This article is co-authored with Sophie Maclaren , partner at Transcend.Space.

Over the last few weeks, we have been pondering the following statement: the mind is a great servant but a poor master.

What does this mean? One aspect is that despite the many gifts our mind brings to us, it can become stuck on limiting beliefs about who we are (our identity) and what we can do (our potential).

For example, we suspect most of us, at some point, have gone to bed worried about something, with thoughts whirring around our minds. But when we woke up, we realised our minds were in overdrive and not only did we lose valuable sleep, our worries were not aligned with reality.

A 1999 research paper by Thomas Borkovec, Holly Hazlett-Stevens and M.L. Diaz found 85% of what respondents worried about never actually happened. And in the minority of outcomes that were bad, they coped with those situations better than expected in 79% of cases.

While the sample behind this research was limited in size, it nonetheless prompts an interesting question. Take a few moments to think about your own lifetime experiences with worry and reality. How many worst case scenarios have transpired?

So what is the antidote or alternative to this place of being caught up in anxiety about the future, or regret about the past?

It is direct experience and presence.

This is an idea that has been around for millennia, though one could argue it has never been more relevant.

To explain: as we go through our daily lives, we are interacting with the world through two distinct neural networks. One is called the direct experience network. This is what you feel in your body, or what you experience, as you make contact with the external world. It might be the sound of birds, the taste of your cup of tea, the smell of fresh morning air. Essentially, the direct experience network is your real-time sensorial experiences, which are always in the present moment. For example, you don’t hear the bird song from yesterday.

The other is called the default mode network, also known as the narrative network. This is your internal dialogue, thoughts, worries - rational or irrational - and identity. It is important because it defines how we think about things and reflect. The problem is that it tends to be untrained, and can be inaccurate. Our thoughts are not facts. And with smartphones, humans are now consuming more narrative - through, for example, social media platforms whose algorithms are programmed to feed us negative or divisive content - than at any point in history. Our brains, which have a negativity bias, can get hyperactive and this can cause overthinking or catastrophising. 

We can counter this by coming back to the present moment, and by integrating more positive data from our daily experiences. That positive data tends to come from our direct experiences: the joy of being present with another human being, the sensations of going for a run in nature, or the taste of good food. We even have a phrase in the English language - come to your senses - which rings true because senses are your direct experience of the present moment which balances your narrative, and brings you back to reality. 

So, below are some questions that frame a reflective session to bring our minds into service of a deeper sense of who we are:

Anxiety question: Of all the things you have ever worried about, how many of them have ever come true?

Capability question: When you consider what you believe you can do, and compare it with what you are capable of doing, what is the difference?

Identity question: When you consider the different aspects of your identity, to what extent do they capture all that you might do and be?

Self-realisation question: When you reflect on your answers to these questions, what do you learn about yourself? [Answer this question five times to get to a deep level of understanding and awareness.]

If these questions spark an interest in you, then find a quiet moment, away from your phone and perhaps on a long walk, to consider the fuller extent of who you really are - and your potential in life!

A message from the author

Thank you for reading the 68th edition of the Leadership 2050 newsletter. As CEO of Transcend.Space and senior fellow of management practice at the University of Oxford’s Saïd Business School, my work, research and teaching focuses on how leaders transcend 21st century challenges such as disruptive technology change, the climate crisis and creating diverse and inclusive environments… alongside the ongoing challenge of delivering profitable growth. Through Transcend.Space and Saïd, where I direct the Oxford Advanced Management & Leadership Programme, I have worked with leaders from many geographies, industries and governments. All this has given me a deep understanding of how good leaders create value - and bad leaders destroy it. Never before has this topic been so important on a global stage, hence why I am undertaking this work.