Life's Too Short for SHOULD HAVES

"There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love. When you tap into this source, you will truly have defeated age." - Sophia Loren

Many people I interviewed during my Year by the Water travels told me, rather wistfully, they too had a dream they intended to do ... someday.

When I asked why they weren’t doing it now, they explained they were waiting for more time, more money, more clarity, more confidence ... more something.

In fact, a woman told me her dream is to write a book but, “I'm worried it's too late for me. It will probably take me a couple years, and by then I'll be 62 years old.”

I asked, "How old will you be in a couple years if you don't write your book?"

It might help to know that Frank McCourt, a favorite keynoters at Maui Writers Conference, was a teacher in his 60's when he wrote Angela’s Ashes, which received a Pulitzer Prize.

You’re never too OLD for NEW dreams. It’s only too late if you don’t start now. 

As aviation pioneer Chuck Yeager said, "At the moment of truth, there are either reasons or results." I think, at the end of our life, we will either have regrets or results.

June and Shelia, who I met on my travels are living proof that waiting is a path to regrets, initiating is a path to results.

 I was in Aptos, California wrapping up my Someday manuscript before turning it into my publisher. After a week of rain, the sun finally broke through the clouds, and I grabbed the chance to get up, get outside and get moving. I was walking on the beach at Seacliff State Park when two women popped out of their trailer and asked, "Will you take a picture of us?

“Sure,” I said with a smile, “if you tell me your story.”

Which is how I learned that Sheila had called June the day before and said, “We've been going non-stop. It’s time to take a break.”

June pushed back, "We can't. It's your son's birthday next week and my daughter's graduating the week after that."

Sheila persisted (She was even wearing a sweatshirt that said, "Nevertheless, she persisted.") "We've earned it. If we don't do it now, who knows when we'll have a chance."

So, they hitched up their trailer, told their families they’d be back Sunday night, and drove from Fresno to the Pacific Ocean, a few hours away. As a result, here they were by the shore, enjoying a well-deserved get-away and a nice glass of wine.

I asked, “What gave you such clarity about not waiting for someday to do what you want?”

Sheila said, “I’m an insurance agent. I've got a client who waited until he was 70 to retire. He celebrated by buying the huge, fancy Winnebago he'd been talking about for years. He drove it to my office so we could add it to his policy and I could check it out.

The time for our appointment came and went. I was worried so I went to my window to see if he was outside. He was there all right, but it took him a long time to park the doggone thing because he doesn’t move very well. When he came in, he slammed the door, plopped down in a chair and said, ‘I waited too damn long, and now I’m too old to enjoy it.’"

Shelia said, “‘I will never forget that. Whenever I think about putting something off I really want to do, I remember him slumped in that chair, full of regrets."

You may be thinking, “I agree with this in theory, but you don’t understand. I'm busy. I've got family responsibilities, bills to pay, people counting on me.”

You’re right, I don’t know your circumstances. All I know is that I agree with Rene Ricard who said, "Tomorrow is another day. But so was yesterday."

Please stop assuming you can do what calls you tomorrow, or next month or next year.

What you want to do may not be waiting for you when you're ready for it.

I'm not suggesting you abandon your responsibilities. I'm suggesting you ask yourself, “What have I wanted to do for a long time, but I keep putting it off, promising myself I'll do when the right set of circumstances show up? Is that a path to regrets?"

Get out your calendar right NOW. Schedule a time you'll do something that puts the light on in your eyes. It doesn't have to be a day or a weekend. It can be an hour (or two) doing something that energizes you, lifts your spirits, restores your soul, makes you like your life.

John Barrymore said, “A man does not become old until regrets take the place of dreams.”

I agree. During the pandemic, many people said they couldn't wait until things got back to normal so they could pursue the dreams and activities they'd been forced to set aside.

What's that look like for you?

What is, as Sophia Loren expressed, your fountain of youth?

What would add meaning, purpose, joy to your days?

Please understand, you will never regret doing something that lights you up and that makes your days come alive, you will only regret not doing it sooner.

Don't let regrets replace your dreams. Life's too short for should haves.

Set something in motion you deeply want to do ... today, not someday.

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Want to turn your dreams into reality? Check out Sam Horn's latest book SOMEDAY is Not a Day in the Week, which has been featured on TED.com and in HBR.