Teams need a dependable boss

All of us can recall two kinds of bosses they’ve known: one they loved to work for, and one they couldn’t wait to escape. The best bosses are people who are trustworthy, empathetic and connected, who make us feel calm, appreciated, and inspired. The worst – distant, difficult, and arrogant – make us feel uneasy at best and resentful.

Those contrasting sets of attributes map well on the kind of parents who fosters security on the one hand, and anxiety on the other. In fact, the emotional dynamic at work in managing employees shares much with parenting. Our parents form our basic template for a secure base in childhood, but others continue to add to it as we go through life. In school, our teachers fill that position; at work, our boss.

“Secure bases are sources of protection, energy and comfort, allowing us to free our own energy,” George Kohlrieser told me. Kohlrieser, a psychologist and professor of leadership at IMD in Switzerland (and participant in my Leadership: A Master Class video series), observes that having a secure base at work is crucial for high performance.

Feeling secure, Kohlrieser argues, lets a person focus better on the work at hand, achieve goals, and see obstacles as challenges, not threats. Those who are anxious, in contrast, readily become preoccupied with the specter of failure, fearing that doing poorly will mean they will be rejected or abandoned (in this context, fired) – and so they play it safe.

People who feel that their boss provides a secure base, Kohlrieser finds, are more free to explore, be playful, take risks, innovate, and take on new challenges. Another business benefit: if leaders establish such trust and safety, then when they give tough feedback, the person receiving it not only stays more open but sees benefit in getting even hard-to-take information.

Like a parent, however, a leader should not protect employees from every tension or stress; resilience grows from a modicum of discomfort generated by necessary work pressures. But since too much stress overwhelms, an astute leader acts as a secure base by lessening overwhelming pressures if possible – or at least not making them worse.

On the other hand, if members of a work team are resilient, highly motivated, and good at what they do, a leader can be challenging and demanding and still get good results. Yet disaster can result when such a high-pressure leader shifts to a less gung-ho culture.

An investment banker once told me about a “hard driving, bottom line, 24/7” leader who yelled when displeased. When he merged his company with another, the same style that worked for him before drove away all the managers in the acquired business, who saw him as intolerable. The company’s stock price remained stagnant for two years after the merger.

Having a dependable boss can make a telling difference in how we feel – and perform – at work. A cohesive group with a secure – and security-promoting – leader creates an emotional surround that can be so contagious that even people who tend to be highly anxious find themselves relaxing.

Emotional Intelligence author, Daniel Goleman lectures frequently to business audiences, professional groups and on college campuses. A psychologist who for many years reported on the brain and behavioral sciences for The New York Times, Dr. Goleman previously was a visiting faculty member at Harvard.

Dr. Goleman’s most recent books are The Brain and Emotional Intelligence: New Insights and Leadership: The Power of Emotional Intelligence – Selected Writings. (More Than Sound). Goleman’s latest project, Leadership: A Master Class, is his first-ever comprehensive video series that examines the best practices of top-performing executives.