If making resolutions leaves you anxious rather than inspired, consider this more holistic New Year’s ritual: an end-of-year reflection. To guide you through, we spoke to psychologist Jenny Yip, author of Productive, Successful You!, and neuropsychologist Sanam Hafeez, director of Comprehend the Mind. “This practice allows for flexibility, space, and change to occur throughout the year,” says Yip. “If you set ginormous goals for January 1st, it’s a setup for failure. With our busy lives, we need healthier ways to implement our goals, especially since they’re always evolving.”
1. Look back with empathy
“It’s crucial to approach this process with kindness and self-compassion,” rather than beat yourself up for what you didn’t achieve, says Hafeez. Shift your focus toward the progress you did make, however small. Grab a notebook and a pen and write down a few categories, such as work, family, health, relationships, and self-development. Then jot down a few sentences about what worked out well this year, and what was challenging. (If journaling isn’t your thing, just go through them in your head and treat it like a meditation.) “This will help you establish better emotional and mental boundaries for the following year,” says Yip. For example, if you intended to go to the gym regularly but didn’t, ask yourself what physical activity brings you joy. “Exercise could be going for a hike, walking, or taking a dance class. Finding what you enjoy doing means you are more likely to commit to it,” she says.
2. Interview yourself
Need some prompts to help retrace the year? Ask yourself questions like: What were my top priorities this year? What boundaries did I set for myself? How did I take care of myself? What do I want to explore more next year? Who was helpful and supportive to me this year? Who wasn’t?
3. Revel in the good stuff
No matter how small your efforts may have seemed, says Hafeez, it’s important to acknowledge and appreciate your successes. “By celebrating our wins, we boost motivation and confidence in ourselves,” she says. If you find it challenging to look back without being too self-critical, Yip suggests that you balance every negative assessment with an equally weighted positive assessment. Shift your focus onto the progress made throughout the year, rather than the outcomes.
4. Clock what motivated you
Take stock of a few factors that helped you flourish in 2023. Yip suggests looking at how you were able to complete your goals and why you were motivated to finish them. For example, if you took daily walks that energized you, was it helpful to make a regular date with a friend or listen to a fun podcast while strolling? “Using those insights, you’ll have awareness of how to continue those behaviors,” says Yip.
5. Acknowledge the unexpected challenges
No matter how much planning and goal setting we do, life—the good, the bad, and the ugly—throws us a curve. Take a few moments to reflect on the storms you weathered in 2023, and give yourself the recognition, kindness, and patience you’d offer to your closest friends. And finally, think about how to carry any lessons forward—which is the ultimate goal of this audit, Yip says. “Make use of your experiences, whether positive or negative, because all of this is in service of you learning, growing, and evolving in life.”
Jennifer Chen is a freelance journalist who has written for Today, New York Times, Real Simple, and Washington Post. Her debut young adult romance, Artifacts of an Ex, is out now. She is a proud mentor for WriteGirl, a creative writing organization, and lives in Los Angeles with her TV writer husband, twins, two pugs, and a cat named Gremlin. Follow her on TikTok, X, and Instagram at @jchenwriter.
