Dear Abby: I am 13, and my mom makes me buy clothes a size larger than I need or want. She claims she buys my clothes big so I can ‘grow into them.’ But how much am I going to grow at this age?
I don’t like the way these clothes fit, and it seems like a waste of money because I like expensive things. Mom bought me tops a year ago that are just beginning to fit me now. She doesn’t like shopping, and this disagreement makes it harder for both of us. Please help.
— Loose and Baggy
Dear Loose and Baggy: At 13, it’s possible you haven’t yet achieved full growth. If the tops your mother bought a year ago are just beginning to fit you now, it’s because although you may not have grown taller, you are beginning to fill out. That may continue to happen with the rest of your figure over the next couple of years or sooner.
You and your mother may never have the same fashion taste, but please trust her judgment for now. She has your best interests at heart.
Dear Abby: I don’t like my 25-year-old daughter’s fiance. He never went to college, works a low-paying job and doesn’t know how to manage money. He floats through life and doesn’t appear to have any goals. I have raised these issues with my daughter, but she doesn’t want to hear it.
Every time I think about planning the wedding, my heart aches and my stomach sinks. There is no excitement for my daughter. What should I do? Fake it, or level with her about not wanting to be a part of this?
— Anxious and Worried
Dear Anxious: Your daughter already knows how you feel about her fiance. When parents plan and/or pay for a wedding, it is a gift, not a requirement. At 25, your daughter is old enough and should be independent enough to plan and pay for it with her fiance. It will be good practice for what lies ahead after her trip to the altar.
Dear Abby: I volunteer with a support group and have fallen for one of the members. I’m certain she doesn’t know my feelings. I have respected her right to pursue the support she sought without the complication of romance.
I am resigned to the fact that an extraordinary woman has crossed my path under the wrong circumstances. But a trusted friend has suggested that special people come only rarely into our lives and I should consider leaving my role as facilitator to pursue her. I’m struggling over what to do.
— Torn Between Two Desires
Dear Torn: If you approach the woman while she’s a member of your group, it could be considered a breach of ethics. It might be better if you wait until she is strong enough to leave the group before you approach her for a personal relationship.
