Writes Gregory of the North:
“I was very saddened to hear about Flip Saunders’ passing.
“I once had the opportunity to meet him, however briefly. I was at the State Fair, and I almost literally ran into him. (I use a wheelchair.)
“I looked up and, surprised at seeing who was in my path, uttered: ‘My God, Flip!’
“Without missing a beat, he calmly replied: ‘Coach Flip is fine.’ Then he was gone in the crowd.
“Requiescat in Pace, Coach Saunders.”
‘Tis the season — already?
The Cab Driver of South St. Paul reports: “It’s not even Halloween, let alone Thanksgiving, but already, one of the electronic billboards out on 494 in Woodbury is advertising a production of ‘A Christmas Carol.’ Gee, willikers, I’d better get my tickets early!”
The Cab Driver again, shortly thereafter: “I thought it over — about buying those tickets early — and decided: Bah, humbug!”
Our times
Says Charlie on the East Side: “Help! I think my wife is trying to kill me.
“She just brought me some lunch meat!”
Life imitates ‘Fibber McGee and Molly’
Twitty of Como reports: “The bride opened the pantry cabinet last night, and three full shelves collapsed.
“At that point, had it been me, I’d have simply closed the door and walked away. It was nothing I’d have chosen to tackle at that late hour.
“Not her, though. She screamed. She yelled. She called my name. Loudly. I was forced by volume (and guilt) to come to her aid.
“Nothing fell out, but three shelves’ worth of canned goods had to be relocated to the kitchen counter, and apparently she felt I was the man for the job. They’re still on the counter. I need to buy new shelf supports — bigger and sturdier ones — before the cans go back.
“It’s not my fault: The cabinet was here when we bought the house. It’s made of cheap pressed wood. That stuff never holds up under stress. I can fix it for the short term, but I’ve been thinking about replacing it for years. All the cabinets. Maybe this winter’s the time.
“I just wish she’d simply closed the door, though, last night. I could take the rumble of tumbling cans, but that yelling is hard on the ears!”
Could be verse!
Billboards Division
GrammyK writes: “Signs in Burma-Shave style, seen on a highway near Payson, Arizona:
” ‘Elk are large
” ‘In herds they run
” ‘Across the highway
” ‘Don’t hit one.’ ”
Where we live
And: Highfalutin pleasures
Your Late Night Lady: “I’m smiling today because of two email photos I received this morning: from my daughter, visiting my grandson in California, a lovely view of the calm, sunny Pacific, from his deck; from my son north of Grand Marais, Lake Superior’s huge waves, predicted to be up to 7 feet, smashing against the rocky shoreline outside their window.
“To add to my amusement, I look across the street. The rain has stopped, and our lake is as flat and reflective as a mirror.”
Lost … and about to be found?
Grandma Jean: “Subject: Oops at Circle Pines garage sale!
“Over Labor Day, I had a garage sale. A very nice man walked to the garage sale, found some items he liked, went home and returned with his car. He purchased a Weber grill and a screen tent.
“Unfortunately, when he helped to package the tent, the poles for the roof did not end up in the bag. He paid cash for the items, so I don’t know his name. After he left, I found the poles lying in the grass.
“I know he walks the neighborhood, and he had a black brace on his left knee. People say that they have seen the man walking from time to time, and I have asked them to pass the word to him that I have the poles at my house. So far, that has not worked. Perhaps Bulletin Board or its readers could help locate this man before he tries to put up the tent next spring and discovers the poles are missing. Thanks much!”
Fun facts to know and tell
The Retired Pedagogue of Arden Hills: “Subject: More than peanut butter.
“Who would have thought that the Garfield page-a-day calendar would be the source of a ‘Fun Fact’ worth noting: ‘A jiffy is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second. Thus the saying, “I will be there in a jiffy.” ‘ ”
The vision thing
Red’s Offspring, north of St. Paul: “Subject: In the eye of the beholder.
“While watching the Wild/Oilers game on TV Tuesday night, I spotted in the lower-right-hand corner of the screen what I thought was an ad similar to the ‘Got Milk?’ campaign that ran for a number of years. This one read: ‘GOT HAM.’ Not too much time passed before I realized it was an ad for the TV show ‘GOTHAM.’ ”
Out of the mouths of babes
The F Word Division
Hudson Grandmama: “When daughter Bridget was in kindergarten or first grade, she came home one afternoon and said: ‘Mommy, I know what the F word is.’ I thought I’d better use that as an educational moment, so I asked her what she thought the F word was. She looked up at me and said: ‘It’s “damn.” ‘ Yup. And she shouldn’t be saying that, either.”
Katrinka of Woodbury: “I was driving our youngest son to elementary school when he asked me if he could say the ‘F’ word. He wanted to see how it felt and sounded. I told him he could say it this one time in the car with me, but never again. He’s kept his word (at least in front of me).”
Bean There, Done That: “The recent stories about kids using the ‘F’ word brought back a memory of my 8-year-old son Dave, who is now in his 50s. I was watching an afternoon baseball game on TV when Dave decided to join me. After we watched the game for a while, Dave said: ‘Dad, what’s a whore?’ Being a responsible parent, I explained the meaning of the word as best I could without imparting too much detail. After a short pause, while he digested this new knowledge, Dave asked: ‘Why is it up there on the scoreboard?’ Sure enough, on the scoreboard in right field, for everyone to see, was the dreaded word: ‘H or E.’ ”
Band Name of the Day: Cars Gone Berserk
Website of the Day, from IGHGrampa: “Check out the puppet work here: tinyurl.com/skeleton-twist.”
