The conventional wisdom guiding younger adults is that it is better to marry later in life. Partly driven by the high divorce rates that defined our parents’ generation, the idea is that one should spend several years figuring out one’s own life before joining it with someone else’s and spend at least some of that time cohabitating with one’s partner to be really sure that the relationship will work.
A new study, however, suggests the opposite: Those who marry young, without living together first, have the best chance of making a marriage work long-term. In fact, couples who abandon this approach and move in together before marriage are 15% more likely to get divorced than those who did not, the study found. That number increases among young adults, especially women, who live with different partners at different stages of life before finally settling down with one, according to psychologist Galena Rhoades. It turns out that premarital cohabitation undermines the significance and commitment of marriage itself.
The study also found that religious young people are less likely to get divorced than any other group. Shared faith “is linked to more sexual fidelity, greater commitment and higher relationship quality,” according to the report.
This should come as no surprise. Religion grounds people and offers a shared set of values. It provides community and purpose, both of which are vital in marriage.
Our culture desperately needs to return to this form of traditional marriage. Premarital cohabitation won’t make anyone happier — in fact, it’s much more likely to lead to heartbreak down the road. And deliberately putting marriage on hold for later in life is, quite simply, a waste of time.
It’s almost like the stuffy older generations (our grandparents and great-grandparents and great-great-grandparents), whose traditions we’ve rejected, were right all along.
