This morning, Durex announced it was launching an ‘exciting’ aubergine-flavoured condom.
Yes, we do see what they’ve done there, given the significance of the aubergine emoji to Millennial sexters – and the fact that a Durex survey last year revealed 84% of 16-25 year olds ‘feel more comfortable talking about sex using emojis’.
But, the problem is, of all the flavours we could have had – bacon, chocolate, did we mention bacon? – aubergine (or eggplant if you’re American and wrong) is not one the world was calling out for.
People were understandably appalled.
.@durex pic.twitter.com/7GhuRbbmbh
— ryan ð© (@ryxnf) September 5, 2016
Disgusted.
Delete this.
— Maurice ð¯ð²ð§ð§ (@myles_morris) September 5, 2016
Others suggested a condom brand might want to avoid using the ‘breaking news’ tag.
Maybe you should avoid using the words ‘Breaking’ News if you’re a condom brand. Might not be auspicious! https://t.co/McWtAdc8Ni
— Papa CJ: Comedian ⢠Executive Coach ⢠Author (@PapaCJ) September 5, 2016
We know they’re selling safe sex, but we’re not sure this is a great business move.
How to stop everyone from having sex ever again https://t.co/l73CPs6ypw
— Poulomi Das (@PouloCruelo) September 5, 2016
People questioned the cooking method because, obviously, chargrilled is better – that is, the aubergines, not the condoms.
.@durex hi guys, just a quick one. How have you prepared and cooked the aubergine? Thanks.
— Josh Barrie (@joshbythesea) September 5, 2016
Need to know how Durex has cooked the aubergine. Hope it’s charred over a griddle with olive oil and lemon. Ok bye. https://t.co/xkLunJvs3Q
— Josh Barrie (@joshbythesea) September 5, 2016
Valid question.
@HoeZaay egg plant has a flavour? ðð
— Bahadur 2.0 (@my2bit) September 5, 2016
No unwanted baba ganoush here.
All the money I’ll save on baba ganoush! https://t.co/cLgyafIc68
— Palle! (@Palle_Hoffstein) September 5, 2016
Mostly, though, people thought this was the beginning of the end.
The evolution of Humans has ended in THIS!!! https://t.co/GYmqPUtHre
— Arvinder Gujral (@arvindergujral) September 5, 2016
But, before you delete social media and prepare to move to an underground bunker in the back garden, don’t worry, Durex have confirmed the aubergine-flavoured condom is all just a ruse.
It’s part of their ongoing campaign to get a condom emoji introduced, alongside the aubergine, the cucumber, the hotdog and the peach, to help people talk about safe sex ‘in a language they’re comfortable with’.
‘Emojis of this sort will enable young people to overcome embarrassment around the discussion of safe sex, encourage conversation and raise awareness of the importance of using condoms in protecting against sexually transmitted infections, including HIV and AIDS,’ Durex’s marketing director Karen Chisholm said in a statement last year.
Confirming the aubergine-flavoured condom definitely wasn’t on the menu today, they said in a statement: ‘Durex knows there is no place for an aubergine when it comes to safe sex.
‘It’s just as questionable, in fact, as a decision not to introduce a Safe Sex Emoji to empower young people to talk about sex, safely, in a language they are comfortable with.’
The cucumber & carrot have been added to the ð sexting salad… we’re still holding out for a safe sext #CondomEmoji!
— Durex Global (@durex) June 3, 2016
So, sorry to anyone who was just putting their coat on to rush down to Boots.
In happier news, bacon-flavoured condoms are available (strapline: ‘make your meat look like meat’).
Although they’re currently out of stock. Naturally.
Would you buy aubergine-flavoured condoms?
-
Yes, I live for aubergine
-
No, there is nothing sexy about aubergine
-
Yes, but only if it was chargrilled
MORE: Durex has launched a dash button – just push in case of emergency
MORE: These are the most used ‘sexually charged’ emojis
MORE: Finally, an aubergine emoji vibrator is here to take your sexts IRL