Is sex safe when pregnant? NCT expert answers expectant parents’ most-asked question

All sorts of misconceptions exist when it comes pregnancy.

After all, when you’re doing everything you can to keep yourself and baby safe, it’s understandable to worry.

But as it turns out, one of the biggest concerns is whether sex during pregnancy is safe, with 200,000 people looking to the NCT (National Childbirth Trust) website for answers on the topic in the last year alone.

This makes it the charity’s most popular resource page, even trumping those on perineal massage, bleeding after birth, and breastfeeding – so it’s clearly a pressing question among expectant parents.

Fear not though, as NCT Practitioner and antenatal educator Fleur Parker has offered her expertise and reassurance over the safety and comfort of intimacy while pregnant.

‘Many people approach sex during pregnancy with caution and may experience changes in their sex drive and sex life as a pregnancy progresses,’ she explains. ‘But the most important thing to note is that sex during pregnancy is generally safe and will not harm your baby.’

Despite myths to the contrary, a penis will not go further than the vagina, and your baby won’t feel a thing from the womb if you have penetrative sex.

Some people prefer cowgirl positions or sex from behind while pregnancy, as they can reduce pressure on your abdomen or breasts (which are likely to feel tender, even in early pregnancy). Others find different forms of intimacy – from kissing to masturbation – more comfortable. It’s all about what suits you.

One issue that may crop up in the later stages of pregnancy is orgasm triggering Braxton Hicks contractions (sometimes known as false labour pains). But while this can be a scary experience, it’s perfectly normal.

‘It’s nothing to worry about and lying down and relaxing can help them go away,’ explains Fleur. ‘In fact, you might find that you experience more intense orgasms during pregnancy, thanks to increased blood flow and heightened sensitivity.’ 

If the Braxton Hicks continue to worsen, contact your doctor.

When you shouldn’t have sex during pregnancy

Your midwife will usually inform you if you should avoid sex. If you’ve bled throughout your pregnancy or have a low placenta this might be the case.

Those who are carrying twins or have previously had premature babies may also be asked to refrain, as could those who’ve had issues with their cervix in the past. This is because they may be at greater risk of sex inducing labour.

Additionally, you should not have sex under any circumstances if your waters have already broken.

Always check with your midwife or doctor if you’re concerned.

Pregnancy and sex drive

Although most people can absolutely continue their normal sex life while pregnant, some find that their desires change due to the influx of hormones or as a result of changing body image.

Many people have higher sex drives in the first and second trimesters, while others find that the side effects of this stage (such as morning sickness and nausea) cause theirs to drop.

‘Whether due to nausea, exhaustion, or simply not feeling up to it, it’s common to have less sex during pregnancy and after your baby is born,’ says Fleur.

‘Talking about how you’re feeling can help people feel connected, but no one should be pressured or forced to do something sexual that they don’t want to.’ 

Try to remember, pregnancy is a difficult time, and sex isn’t the focus – you and baby being healthy and happy is.

Fleur adds: ‘It’s important to listen to your body, explore what feels comfortable, and keep the lines of communication open.’

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