She’s the poster girl for sober living, but it wasn’t always that way for Michelle Heaton. The Liberty X singer, 45, has been proudly alcohol-free for almost four years, after she nearly died at the height of her addiction battle. The star – who was, at one point, existing on an almost daily diet of two bottles of wine and a bottle of vodka – has been admirably honest about her journey to quitting the booze, in the hope of helping others.
Thankfully, Michelle is now happy, healthy and loving life again with her husband, Irish businessman Hugh Hanley and their children Faith, 12, and AJ, 10. And her story, as she tells OK!, is a powerful message for anyone struggling with addiction and hoping to press reset on their own health in 2025…
Michelle, you look great. How are you?
Really good! It’s my last night of panto in Pembrokeshire on 31 December, and it’s been a lot of fun. I had a lovely two days at home for Christmas, in between, with the family. I’m coming up to four years alcohol-free in April.I do pinch myself that I managed to give up something that was ultimately going to killme, and start living again.
You’ve really transformed your life in the last few years…
I’m living proof you can do it – even from rock bottom. My poor body has been through a lot.I have a new-found respect for it. I get my sleep and Hugh and I own a gym and work out together quite a bit. Nothing beats that feeling – you never regret doing a workout. I used to binge-eat a lot – cross-addiction can be a big thing. Now I choose healthy options, proteins and not too many carbs, when I can. And I’m doing things I wouldn’t normally do, like Celebrity SAS, even if I didn’t last very long!
What are the little things you’re enjoying again, now that you’re in full health?
I’m a good wife, mother and friend again. I can do the job I love, walks with our silver lab Bella. I can watch a film at the cinema. Before, I’d always be p**sed. I can say no, I’m going home, whereas before I’d go to the opening of an envelope… That’s powerful. I enjoy my own company now. Before, I felt too ashamed when I stopped and sat with my feelings. I’ve built up the ability to learn how to live again. It didn’t happen overnight – but then, neither did alcoholism.
Dancing On Ice is back soon – will you be watching?
Oh I love that show, and my time on it in 2023 – definitely. I’d auditioned for it twice before I got it – and was hungover if not over the limit during those auditions. I never gave myself a fair shot at anything. You can’t do these kinds of shows when you’re drunk. I’m so proud of how far I’ve come.
Have you felt tempted over party season to have a glass of bubbly?
No, but I’m under no illusion that the old demons could creep back in. That’s waiting for me just around the corner if I don’t stay on top of my recovery – for me, [that’s following] the Twelve Step Fellowship. I say I’m “in recovery”, not “recovered” for that reason.
It’s a difficult time for people struggling with any addiction…
Definitely. I used to promise myself on a weekly basis that things would change, especially in January. But addiction is the definition of insanity – repeating the same behaviour, expecting different results. If anyone is making the same kind of promises, maybe you need to acknowledge you have a problem. Ask for help.
This time three years ago you collapsed during panto, didn’t you?
I did, winter 2021. I collapsed before going onstage in Liverpool and was rushed to hospital. They had to put me on a drip. I’d never have got myself into that place, if I hadn’t been drinking. It was during the pandemic, when a lot of people turned to alcohol, though I was already well into that madness.
How was life, before you managed to turn a corner with your drinking?
Dark. I felt so alone. I’d almost take people hostage to make them do what I did, so I could validate it as something normal. But it wasn’t. Friends stopped drinking when they went home – I’d continue the party by myself. I was depressed and wouldn’t eat properly. One week I’d be skinny, the next bloated. My skin was grey, totally see-through. I’d bruise easily.
Did your relationships suffer?
Massively. My husband, thank God, never walked out. He knew I was in there somewhere, he was just waiting for me to find myself again. I’ve burnt bridges with friends – they couldn’t bear to see me self-destruct. When you’re an alcoholic, you push people away because you feel like you don’t deserve love.
What haunts you to this day?
That my darkest struggles were played out in the public eye. But it means I don’t have any skeletons in the cupboard. I’m not living in fear of somebody telling Hugh I drank like that, or telling my kids what Mummy was like. The kids know I do my meetings, it’s part of my life. I’m as open as I can be, without the gory details.
You’ve said your devoted husband Hugh “saved” you…
He did save me. He had to dissociate from what I was doing to stay healthy for our family. I’d push him away, tell him to leave me – it was truly awful. Thankfully, he never did, but that’s where your mind takes you when you feel utterly worthless.
Has everything you’ve been through made your marriage stronger?
Oh, 100%. We communicate openly, and I’ve answered a lot of Hugh’s questions about my old behaviour. I’ve got a very good man
by my side. I feel blessed – even if he’s really messy at home, which drives me crazy! But it’s a small price to pay for Mr Perfect.
And how is 2025 shaping up for you?
I’ve been writing a memoir for the last few years so I’m hoping to get that sorted in 2025. I’m also moving towards more TV and theatre, I did a couple of hard-hitting play’s in the last year, which I loved. Liberty X are still gigging, which is always fun. Exciting times!